Steady, Eddie: Keep your hands off Wayne Smith
In her first regular column for Stuff, Emma Keeling has some advice for the outspoken England coach.
OPINION: Send me to therapy. The mind is swirling with self-doubt, worry and confusion and it’s all Eddie Jones’ fault.
Trying to figure out what’s going on inside the England rugby coach’s head is no easy task. But why?’’ you ask, ‘‘When it’s all murky and Australian in there?’’ Well my friends, the World Cup is just two years away and Eddie Jones is up to something.
It’s no secret Jones wants to take England to World Cup glory. He lobs it in to every interview and conversation before every match. Maybe it’s part of his plan to get his players so used to talking about it that when the great tournament actually arrives, it will be just another series of matches?
England’s performance at home in 2015 was so awful it was a struggle to even watch from between my fingers. Considering the RFU’s money, resources and depth of talent you could also understand the sniggering although we have all felt the white-hot pain of getting our butts kicked in sport.
So with lots of good stuff to work with all Jones had to do when he arrived at Twickenham was to track down the player’s backbones, slot them in to place, drive out the demons of failure, and finally turn his attention to winning again.
It hasn’t always been pretty to watch but 21 wins from 22 games must be applauded, I guess. For an All Black supporter it’s unnerving and uncomfortable to watch, so it’s strange to hear that England supporters are also worried.
It’s Jones’ coaching methods you see; they’re a bit Australian in an antagonising, mind-messing way. Jones loves his cricket and you get the feeling he’s like a kid at Christmas when the banter and sledging starts.
He also loves to keep his players guessing. Often they won’t know if they’ll be involved in a test until late in the week.
You could argue this keeps players motivated and yet former England back Austin Healey sounded a warning in a recent opinion piece for The Telegraph.
He spoke of how England players think things are going well but are then dropped or criticised.
‘‘Players are mentally fragile. Keeping them on their toes is one thing, but you need to foster a degree of trust and support in the long run otherwise they become nervous wrecks.’’
You could argue that if they’re that fragile, international sport is not for them. And yet some of the English stars seem to be thriving. Jones dropped Owen Farrell and Maro Itoje for the Argentina test because of their heavy workload this year.
When asked how they handled being dropped he said: ‘‘They hate it, which is a great reaction. They hate it because they want to play every test.’’
Certainly, when Itoje came off the bench against Australia, it was as if Khaleesi herself had released one of her Game of Thrones dragons into the fray. The young lock is so good I wouldn’t be surprised if he develops fire-breathing skills by next year.
But how many players will toughen up under the big brother baiting style of Jones and how many will become so used to it it will have no effect? Healey seems to think it will be the latter but maybe not until after the World Cup. Hmmm.
Jones’ coaching style seems to be the polar opposite of Steve Hansen who’s more of a tough, father figure than taunting big brother.
I was working for Television New Zealand on the last end-of-year tour. Players spoke of the brutally honest video sessions they had to endure after the loss to Ireland in Chicago.
You get the feeling that Hansen saying ‘‘I’m not angry, just disappointed,’ must be one of the hardest things an All Black has to endure.
It’s also unusual for Hansen to move too many facial muscles even though a few must have been twitching during the match against Scotland - there’s no doubt the rest of the world is catching up to the Men in Black.
It happens, although we won’t know how close England has come until they face the All Blacks next year, the first time since 2014 when they lost all four tests. But that was a different time and Eddie Jones was not the coach and last weekend he demonstrated why Kiwi fans may have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
On Saturday there was genuine belief Australia could rattle England’s cage. There’d been good banter between the sides during the week and I was hoping for another tantrum from Jones who’d made three year-olds proud when he threw his pen watching England haul themselves over the line against Argentina.
He’d even had to apologise to his 93-year-old mum, who saw his expletive laden outburst on the telly. ‘‘I’m in trouble with my mother and that’s a big enough punishment for me,’ said a contrite Eddie after the match.
Either Mrs Jones is terrifying or management disconnected his central nervous system before the Aussie game because he did not move a muscle. He went all Steve Hansen on us. Even when a try should’ve been awarded to England in the early stages, he was a millpond, a little oasis of calm and it really unnerved me.
You know what they say about ‘method in his madness’? Could Jones’ unpredictability actually win the World Cup for England in two years time?!?
Healey seems to think so. ‘‘Maybe this is the time for him to bring in another coach as someone who can be a foil for his ideas – a real pragmatist who mellows the waters slightly. Perhaps a Wayne Smith, who has been around the block, just to help balance things out towards the World Cup.’’ What the? Wayne Smith?! Our Wayne Smith?!!
I don’t know where defence coach to the stars Wayne Smith is right now but someone needs to have a chat with him and at the very least take his passport away. You do that while I look up therapists online.
❚ Former TVNZ European correspondent Emma Keeling started her journalism career on Radio Sport. Before that she played junior golf for New Zealand. One taught her to never back down, the other drove her insane.