Find your happy place
Sometimes life can be overwhelming, but Sarah Murray says a few techniques incorporated into our day can give us all the resilience to cope.
We probably think we have some sort of grasp of what makes us happy. But how much can we control and how much is connected to the brain? And is there a recipe of core ingredients we should all be trying to put together to make ourselves happier?
‘‘People talk about happy chemicals in the brain – they’ve got serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin,’’ says Rachael Sumner, research fellow at the University of Auckland’s School of Pharmacy. ‘‘When it comes to maintaining all levels of health, it’s about making sure you’re getting plenty of rewarding things to increase dopamine, or doing
plenty of enjoyable things to boost serotonin, or about making meaningful connections to increase oxytocin,’’ she says. ‘‘You also need to build the scaffolding for the brain for them to work – so you need to eat right and exercise, too,’’ she says. ‘‘There is also a new area [of thinking] coming out about gut health. A healthy gut means a healthy mind and a healthy mind means happiness.’’
The following practices can activate these chemicals in the body and make us feel happier.
Gratitude
Dr Emma Woodward, clinical director of the New Zealand Institute of Wellbeing and Resilience, says practising gratitude is a big one.
‘‘There is a huge amount of scientific research behind the positive impact of showing gratitude,’’ Woodward says.
‘‘It enhances the neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamines. When we focus on the good, we change our cognitive processes. The more we focus on the good, the more likely we are to see the good, which enhances our level of subjective wellbeing.’’
Woodward believes a gratitude journal should be put into your daily routine, either first thing in the morning or last thing at night. She also recommends having a trigger to remind yourself to practise gratitude.
‘‘For me, because of the weather, it’s rainbows. Every time I see one it’s my trigger because they’re beautiful things and catch my attention.’’
Mindfulness
Mindfulness has been a buzzword, but Woodward believes it’s for good reason as it can ‘‘help us regulate and understand our emotional responses to things’’.
‘‘It’s about taking a moment to connect with the here and now, on what is happening, not just the noise in our head. When we’re more aware of our internal processes and stay present and connected, rather than being ruled by our default mode network, we’re more likely to be able to choose our response based on what is occurring, rather than reacting mindlessly.’’
One of the most effective ways is also one of the simplest – just breathe. ‘‘Managing your breath is a good way of counteracting stress and anxiety. It can trigger our parasympathetic nervous system, which counteracts our sympathetic nervous system – the part of our nervous system involved with the stress response – and reduce levels of cortisol and adrenaline, the stress chemicals.’’
Focusing your attention on something like your breathing also allows you to cut out the rest of the noise and pay attention to one particular thing. In turn, Woodward says ‘‘you start to know yourself and your internal processes better. You learn what your triggers are, and to be more in control.’’
Connect and laugh
Connecting with others – particularly people who make you feel good and laugh – is another key to happiness, says Woodward. ‘‘We used to live in smaller, more co-operative communities and tribes, but now we live in more isolated family units. This can make you feel lonely, and loneliness is corrosive because we’re social beings, wired to connect. So forging positive connections with other people and doing things like random acts of kindness makes you feel connected.’’
Get outdoors
Many of us already know that ‘‘feel good’’ endorphins are released when we exercise, which
Walking through nature and exploring your environment definitely has a positive impact on your mental health and wellbeing.
can often leave you feeling more energised and in a good mood. But being outside, whether you’re exercising or not, can also boost your mood.
‘‘It might be walking through a forest, it might be simply getting out of your house and reminding yourself there is a whole world outside your little bubble,’’ says Woodward. ‘‘Walking through nature and exploring your environment definitely has a positive impact.’’
Overall, Woodward says it’s about incorporating these small behavioural changes meaningfully into your everyday life. ‘‘They’re not just fads. They’re not just phases,’’ she stresses. ‘‘They need to be done little and often,’’ she says.
When it comes to happiness and wellbeing, she believes it’s something that should be taught from a young age so everyone has the tools to help themselves.
‘‘We’re always looking for the quick fix because we’re busy and stressed and that’s why we don’t want to put a hard yards in,’’ she says. ‘‘We should learn these skills in schools. If we did, I think we’d see a decrease in mental illness.
‘‘Our focus in the past few generations has been on achievement and outcome, rather than wellbeing and self-fulfilment. We’re taught to be the best, to get the highest score, to work the longest hours, but we’re not taught about what we need to do to support that process.
‘‘When we burn out, we don’t have the energy to learn new skills and put the hard yards in that we need to get ourselves well again and that’s partly why we’re were seeing a rise in mental health issues.’’
Ultimately, Woodward believes being happy makes people make good choices, for themselves and for the planet. ‘‘If you’re happy and have a higher level of subjective wellbeing, then you tend to be kinder, nicer, more compassionate.
‘‘You’re more able to extend that happiness to your fellow humans. Happy people tend to make positive choices about themselves and for others.
‘‘Society is changing much faster than we are able to develop the skills to navigate it and change is inherently unsettling.
‘‘As human beings, we don’t know what will come next.
‘‘Add to that the fact that we are facing more concerning global socio-political issues – issues such as climate change – and I think more than ever before we need to take charge of our own happiness and wellbeing.
‘‘We also need to be able to develop the right mindset to be proactive and effect positive change in the face of situations that can feel overwhelming.
‘‘We can’t provide certainty, but we can develop the skills needed to be resilient.’’