‘Time to talk about being

When Lyndon Bray spoke at the New Zealand Rugby AGM last month to nominate Wayne Young for the board, the referee-turned Tasman rugby chief executive had a professional and personal story to tell.

Bray wanted to talk about Young’s rugby nous and acumen, but he also wanted to share how Young had backed him unequivocally for the Tasman job, and welcomed him and husband Maico Camilo to the Nelson region.

‘‘I think what was interesting about the AGM is that we want board members and people in rugby in roles who are actively capable of supporting the direction that the game needs to go,’’ Bray told Stuff. ‘‘And the reason I spoke to my experience for Tasman was that Wayne Young has been unbelievably supportive.

‘‘I actually asked Steve [Tew] the question, ‘Is Tasman rugby ready for a gay man to be the CEO?’ and he said, ‘Well we’re about to find out. But I’ll only speak of positives around how Wayne and the board and the staff and the rugby clubs have supported me.’’

Bray came out in the late 1980s, and remains grateful for the support he received. Former New Zealand Rugby chief executive Tew and ex-All Blacks coach Steve Hansen may not be everyone’s idea of progressive liberals, but

Bray says the pair, along with former NZ Rugby referees manager Keith Lawrence, were key backers.

But, he has rarely talked about his sexuality in the public arena. Now, the world is changing, and NZ Rugby is changing with it. Bray acknowledges that support, but knows there is a long way to go.

He would ‘‘love to imagine’’ a day when a young male rugby player could realistically entertain a career in the game without feeling the need to hide their sexuality.

‘‘I think we’re probably not yet at that point,’’ Bray said. ‘‘In fact I know we’re not yet at a point where we could say that we’ve won that battle.

‘‘If I asked you how many gay players currently playing in Super Rugby, and the All Blacks, could you name – you’d probably say zero.

‘‘But, I’ll guarantee that there are some. So, we’re not yet at the point where it is easy to be in that space.’’

NZ Rugby president Max Spence is determined for the union to get there, which is why they are taking the Pride Pledge, a commitment to support diversity in the workplace.

‘‘We’ve got to play fair,’’ Spence told Stuff. ‘‘And that’s not just playing fair on the park.

‘‘We’ve got to play fair in the community, and we’ve got to be welcoming.’’

Bray rose to national prominence as first a referee, and then as Sanzaar’s game manager.

Now in his mid-50s, Bray is comfortable in his own skin. He is a proud gay man, and equally proud of his husband.