Cash boost for Waikato groups fighting elder abuse
Dealing with grief can be something no-one really wants to think about until it happens. Often it can be too late, but Pio Terei says there are ways to find happiness again.
Grief is a subject Terei is all too familiar with after losing his youngest son, Teina, to leukaemia in 2017.
Since then, he has been sharing his story and how he has coped with his whā nau’s loss to help others overcome their own feelings of grief. The actor, singer and comedian has been working for The Parenting Place for about 20 years and helps write and present a lot of its Mā ori parenting courses, such as the Building Awesome Whā nau course.
But tomorrow he will be at Tū rangi’s River of Life Church where he’ll talk about surviving grief, self-care, being smart and the places and spaces that continue to give him strength.
‘‘It has been one hell of a battle since we lost our boy, and it still is today.’’
Terei said some days were better than others and, while he said he’d never get over his loss, it gets easier.
‘‘I’m going to be sharing a few practical, helpful tips and talk about what things people shouldn’t do, quick fixes like drinking a little bit more and using other artificial stimulants. For me, it was a bit too much sav blanc, but that’s under control now. One of the biggest things to think about is what and who you surround yourself with.
‘‘You need to choose your allies carefully and start to move forward, and I want to share that with people on Sunday.’’
He said grief was relative to each individual and could be something like a child losing their favourite toy, which may not seem like much to a parent, but means a lot to the child.
‘‘Grief is grief, whatever that loss is. Recognising triggers, realising how you feel on the day, and avoiding those triggers when you can also helps.
‘‘Treating yourself well and looking after your physical as well as your mental wellbeing is important.
‘‘I like taking walks and visiting the bush or the ocean, nature gives me a lot of strength.’’
He said finding time to reset yourself was also key to dealing with grief, ‘‘and with the high rates of suicide at the moment and with issues like Covid, I think the whole country is grieving in one way or another’’.
‘‘Times like Matariki, where we can use it as a reset, are great.’’
Pio Terei will be at the River of Life Church (Senior Citizen’s Hall) in Tū rangi tomorrow, June 26 from 10.30am. Entry is free and light refreshments will be provided.
Three Waikato organisations battling against elder abuse have received a $75,000 boost after successfully applying for cash from the Office for Seniors elder abuse prevention fund.
The $250,000 fund has allocated $24,000 to Age Concern Hamilton, $24,700 to Te Ahi Kaa and $24,750 to Houhou Te Rongo Kahukura.
‘‘We know that one in 10 older people experience elder abuse in New Zealand,’’ Office for Seniors director Diane Turner said.
‘‘We hope that these projects will help us in our mission in preventing elder abuse and raising awareness.’’
Age Concern Hamilton executive officer Sara Farmer said they would put the funding towards a partnership with the Hamilton Settlement Centre to help create awareness about safe ageing and preventing elder abuse in older migrants and refugee communities.
‘‘Hamilton is a vibrant, age friendly city, with a more diverse older community than any other main centre. Accessing information and support about healthy ageing is essential to empower our migrant and refugee communities,’’ she said.
Te Ahi Kaa, Pou Arahi Danielle Oakes said their funding would go towards creating conversations with kaumā tua and their whā nau around preventing elder abuse, educating kaumā tua on how to keep their money safe, as well as raising awareness of scams and frauds.
‘‘Our project Kia Tū pato will support us to engage more effectively with kaumā tua and their whā nau. It is about keeping our kaumā tua safe, secure and thriving. Our kaumā tua are our taonga, they hold knowledge and wisdom that is essential to the wellbeing of whā nau,’’ she said.
Hohou Te Rongo Kahukura project manager Sandra Dickson said their funding would go towards investigating more about the elder abuse experienced by Takatā pui and Rainbow Elders, through a national survey and key interviews.
They will work collaboratively with Rainbow Hub Waikato to understand the needs of these groups.
‘‘This targeted funding is desperately needed. We have almost no information beyond the anecdotal, which suggests big gaps for us.’’ she said.
The effects of elder abuse, including financial abuse, is a topic Age Concern elder abuse and neglect professional educator Hanny Naus has previously discussed with Stuff, saying victims can often feel ‘‘total embarrassment, total shame’’.
‘‘It affects the whole person, their dignity, self-respect, their role in the community.’’
She also said victims are often scared at the reaction from family members, as ‘‘they feel they’re the one who is stupid’’.
Naus said more than half of the cases of elder abuse reported to Age Concern involve financial abuse, and the majority – four out of five cases – are abuse from family members.
A man who intervened during the Auckland stabbings attack on Thursday said he doesn’t want to be thought of as a hero and hoped anyone else would do what he did.
Ian Kingon, 58, was one of four men who followed the alleged attacker from Murrays Bay to Mairangi Bay in Auckland’s North Shore.
Police said four people were stabbed. All went to hospital with moderate injuries.
The man was ‘‘corralled’’ by four members of the public, including Kingon, before one of them stopped the alleged attacker with a walking crutch. Police said the men showed ‘‘extreme bravery’’.
Kingon put himself between the alleged attacker and a group of women with their children, who were playing at Mairangi Bay beach.
‘‘Grab your kids and run!’’ he shouted at them. ‘‘If he gets near these kids there’s going to be carnage,’’ Kingon recalls thinking. ‘‘There was panic galore.
‘‘I just did what needed to be done,’’ said the man who shunned the word ‘‘hero’’ when it was put to him.
The alleged attacker moved towards Kingon, his back now turned to the other men in pursuit. Kingon said one of those men had grabbed a walking crutch from a man nearby, and swung at the alleged attacker with the crutch. He missed.
But, the man swung a second time, connecting with such force that it snapped the hospital-grade walking crutch in two, Kingon said.
Within a couple of minutes police arrived. Kingon said the entire pursuit had lasted somewhere between 15 and 20 minutes.
Kingon was working from home and was out for a lunchtime walk, taking his neighbour’s dog with him. He said he got to the bottom of Gulf View Rd, at the corner of Murrays Bay beach when a woman ‘‘came up shouting for help’’.
‘‘She asked them to help her because she’d been stabbed on the beach and that the man was still there,’’ he said.
Kingon and another man set off in pursuit of the alleged attacker. ‘‘As I got there, the man was on the beach trying to stab the next woman.’’
Kingon said the woman dodged the attack and he began chasing her down Murrays Bay beach.
Kingon and the second man followed to the beach, before the alleged attacker turned up back onto Beach Rd. They followed him along Beach Rd and up Bournemouth Tce.
He said they didn’t try to directly engage with the man and instead they just followed him. The second man’s wife joined them and said that she was on the phone with emergency services.
As the group progressed through Mairangi Bay, they were joined by two tradies.
They followed the attacker down Montrose Tce, to where it runs along Mairangi Bay beach.
Eventually, the attacker, still with a knife in his hand, reached fencing, blocking the street off for construction of a new wastewater system. He was stuck with three men on one side and Kingon on the other.
Yesterday, a 41-year-old man appeared in the Waitākere District Court charged with one count of assault and four counts of wounding with intent to cause grievous bodily harm. He was granted interim name suppression and was ordered to appear in court next week.