Black Caps all-stars to stop Australia’s unfair advance
For those of us who are emotionally invested in New Zealand test cricket, Monday dawned as a day of hope and possible redemption. Three decades of wrongs were about to be put right. Victory over Australia was so close, you could taste it. In their 100th matches, former captain Kane Williamson and current skipper Tim Southee were about to experience only the second win of their illustrious careers over the only foe that really counts. No other players in the team had come even close.
What happened? Well, I'm no more than an armchair critic, one whose attention was diverted by the annual festival of Tinsel Town self-congratulation, but my oldest cricket watching mate sent me a text at day's end, summing up the mood of the country with admirable precision: "We bowled badly and Southee's tactics were beyond poor. Gutted!"
It is a commonplace belief that recent times have seen something of a Golden Age in New Zealand cricket. Players such as Taylor, Mccullum, Williamson, Boult, Southee and Wagner formed the core of a team that achieved consistent success at the international level, leading to multiple second placings in white ball tournaments and an inaugural triumph in the World Test Championship. However - and here comes the ‘but’ - what this collection of players has demonstrated with equal regularity is an inferiority complex of Freudian proportions when it comes to our geographically closest opponents.
Australia is a country that ignored our test endeavours for 16 years (1930-1946), sustained the approach with another 26 years of indifference (1947-1973) and today only condescends to tour once every eight seasons. They are the true benchmark of excellence and remain so, ironically, by ensuring opportunities to beat them are so infrequent. Given Monday's result, another generation of New Zealanders has fallen short. How might we rectify the problem and rediscover our self respect? I believe a sensitivity to past victories is essential. We have managed to come out on top 8 times and on other occasions individual brilliance has threatened to offset the drubbing of the collective.
Here’s the team to beat Australia: Openers: Glenn Turner & John Wright If he found no great success in Australia itself, few achievements in New Zealand sport rival that of Glenn Turner's a half century ago: 101 & 110*, the backbone of our first ever victory. Achieving 50s on two other occasions, Turner averaged just under 50 opening the innings against the team that counts the most.
John Wright's equally iconic opening partner, Bruce Edgar, contributed mightily to New Zealand's second and third wins, with 161 and 74 in 1982 and 1985, respectively, but Wright himself tasted victory 6 times, with two 50s in Auckland in 1986 and a magnificent captain's knock of 117* in the capital four years later. Number Three: Andrew Jones Conventional wisdom would favour Kane Williamson in this spot but statistics say otherwise. With a high score of 150 and two centuries and two fifties, Andrew Jones' record against Australia was as good as anyone's, averaging almost 54 in the island continent itself.
Number Four: Martin Crowe
Williamson's numbers have long displaced the moody genius from his once unassailable position as New Zealand's greatest batsman but Crowe's achievements against the trans-tasman rivals brooks no comparison. Three centuries, including a 188 to complement Hadlee's feats in Brisbane in 1985, contributed toward an eye watering average of 66.92 in Australia and 48.26 overall.
Number Five: Ross Taylor
Any who like myself suffered through Ross Taylor's final, modest display at the Melbourne Cricket Ground in 2019 may well shake their head at this selection.
Yes, his average is artificially inflated by the mammoth 290 he scored in 2015 in Perth but that is still the highest score by any player against Australia in Australia. Taylor's 56 also played a crucial part in our last win: Hobart, 2011.
Number Six & Wicketkeeper: Brendon Mccullum
On paper Adam Parore averages more, especially as a specialist keeper, but this team needs self belief and Mccullum had it in spades. If a century off 54 balls in his final test failed to set up the desired result it certainly made a statement. Mccullum scored a more circumspect 100, as keeper, in another losing cause. More importantly, he was last to captain us to glory.
Number Seven: Richard Hadlee.
The architect of our first 6 victories, the apotheosis of Hadlee's peerless career came in Brisbane, 1985, when he rejoiced in figures of 15 for 123. A true patriot, he reserved his best performances for the toughest opponents, taking 130 wickets at an average of 20.56. A team with Hadlee was always world class.
Number Eight: John Bracewell.
A Bracewell is essential. If nephew Doug bowled us to victory in Hobart, Uncle John did as much twice: taking 10 wickets in Auckland in 1986 and 6/85 in Wellington in 1990. Bracewell also managed the rare feat of winning a Man of the Match award in Australia, in a losing cause: his 83 not out in a Sydney test in 1985 outshining all specialist batsmen.
Number Nine: Neil Wagner
The decision to drop Wagner on the eve of a vital test series made no sense given back in 2019, when almost all of his teammates wilted in the heat, he took 17 wickets at 22.76. At his best there was no better short ball enforcer on flat decks. Guts personified.
Number Ten: Jack Cowie
Taking 6/40 in the first, humiliating loss to Australia, Wisden said if Jack Cowie had been born across the ditch he would have been "the wonder of the age". Cowie did one thing no other New Zealand bowler ever did: he took Don Bradman's wicket. And cheaply at that.
Number Eleven: Clarrie Grimmitt
Grimmitt never represented the country of his birth. Perhaps if Australia had deigned to play New Zealand a little earlier he just might have stayed. One of the all time great spin bowlers, with an average and a strike rate superior to Shane Warne's, Grimmitt held his own in international cricket until he was almost 45, taking 12 wickets in his final match and expressing disappointment that he was not selected thereafter.