MEGAN NICOL REED
On kicking off a new year
Alist as long as my arm; all the ways in which I might improve myself, give more, do more, be more. Uggh, just the thought of it makes me want to have a lie-down. No, far more fun it occurred to me as 2018 melted into 2019, to come up with a bunch of resolutions for you lot. A few pet peeves of mine. Several foibles, kinks, if you like, that I have personally managed to overcome, to straighten out in myself. Tre it like a philosophical smorgasbord: pile your plate high or just pick one or two pertinent to you. Perhaps you’re already all over it, totally sorted. I bet you know someone, though, a friend or a family member, a colleague or neighbour, someone who would benefit from a small shove in the right direction. Pass it on. Pass it around. Share the love. Sing it loud.
Eat fewer animals. It’s bad for the planet, it’s not great for you, it really sucks for them. And if/when you must eat meat/ eggs/dairy, then buy the best/least cruel you can afford. Yes, free-range is more expensive and it’s still problematic but it’s actually evil to let a let a pig live out her seriously curtailed life in a crate hardly bigger than her body, to turn a hen into a cannibal because she must share a cage with five to eight others in a large windowless, noisy, smelly shed containing as many as 45,000 squawking birds, all because you fancy a breakfast of bacon and eggs. Don’t start a GiveA-Little page for your anity project. Don’t ask the crowd to fund your dream. It smacks of vulgarity. Try, when introduced to someone, to remember their name or at least their face. So that next time you cross paths and someone asks if you’ve met before, you don’t essentially insult them by saying, “No, I don’t think so.” It makes them feel forgettable, unworthy of even the minutest speck of your attention. And when you do it repeatedly it makes you look like a right arsehole.
Make an effort to pronounce Maori words and place names
correctly. It’s really not that hard. Yes, I know you’ve always said it that way but that defence has always been paper-thin. That’s how they used to justify slavery and whaling, too. Face it, you’ve been pronouncing it wrong all along and now it’s time to up your game.
Move more, drive less. Eat less, eat better. Don’t drink every night. You will look and feel a million times healthier for it. And yet don’t totally deny yourself either. I can guarantee that on your deathbed you will not fantasise about that glutenfree, sugar-free, dairy-free bliss ball you guiltily downed after CrossFit, but there’s a chance you may look fondly back upon that wedge of triplelayer, salted caramel and mascarpone cake with free-dried raspberries and frosted pecans which you went halvsies in with your best friend at that little seaside cafe.
I can guarantee that on your deathbed you will not fantasise about that glutenfree, sugar-free, dairy-free bliss ball you guiltily downed after CrossFit.
Learn how to recycle properly. You can’t stick a washing basket in your bin just because it’s plastic. A tin can with Jellimeat still clinging to its insides will taint everything. And it doesn’t work if you place everything in a plastic bag. What you can do with that plastic bag, however, is fill it with clean, empty packets and wrappers, and once a week drop it off to the soft plastics recycling station at your local supermarket.
Kiss more often. Hug for longer. It feels
good.
Don’t tweet or post or make a
speech just for the sake of it. Only say something if you have something original to add to the conversation. There is enough noise. And on that note, save your declaration of love for the love/light of your life, your angel, your reason for breathing, for the love/light of your life, your angel, your reason for breathing. We admire the sentiment, but there’s no need to share it with the rest of us. Really.
Be hardhearted when it comes to bullying, racism, sexism, homophobia, brutality. Call it out wherever and whenever you encounter it.
Be softhearted when it comes to your mother, your lover, your son, your dog, yourself.