Behind the smile
Behind the smiles and upbeat posts, the girl who seemed to have it all was battling her demons, writes Carolyne Meng- Yee
Young, beautiful and talented, Sarah Higgins seemed to have it all. But behind the smiles and upbeat Facebook posts, the budding politician was battling her demons.
n the face of it, Sarah Higgins had it all. Young, beautiful and talented, the budding politician’s Facebook page told of an enviable life — selfies with the Prime Minister, dining at smart restaurants and connections with “friends” in high places. But behind the smiles, poses and upbeat posts, Sarah was battling depression.
She died on August 28 of a suspected suicide.
Today is International Suicide Awareness Day and Sarah’s stepmother, Donna Higgins, is speaking for the first time about her 25- year- old daughter’s complex illness to encourage others to reach out.
“It’s not an excuse to do nothing. Get help and don’t let [ depression] hold you back,” she said from her home in Pawarenga, an isolated west coast community about 40 minutes south of Kaitaia.
“Sarah’s death wasn’t sudden or unexpected — she died in respite care,” Donna said tearfully. “It was a manic time, she felt she was a burden and couldn’t go on.”
Sarah grew up with her two brothers, James and Harry, in Umawera, a small rural town in Northland about an hour east of her parents’ current home. Their mother, Helen, died six years ago from complications following surgery. After she became too ill to care for them, the children were raised by their father, Chris, a local dairy farmer.
Donna met Chris after her marriage ended. She and her son Andre moved in with her brother, Chris’ next- door neighbour. Donna and Chris struck up a friendship and later married, raising their four children together.
Sarah, who was “always loyal and thoughtful”, was a tomboy,” she said.
“Nothing made her happier than working with her dad on the farm.”
She drove the tractor, milked the cows and ploughed the fields.
“Chris described Sarah as the best son he ever had,” said Donna, laughing.
Sarah’s troubles began early when she was diagnosed with ADHD, Asperger’s syndrome, dyslexia and its numerical equivalent dyscalculia. Depression followed when she turned 14. She loved school but struggled to keep up.
“She was great verbally, but she couldn’t physically write things down which frustrated her and added to her depression,” said Donna.
After Sarah left school with NCEA Level 1, she worked on the farm and trained to be a chef. Five years ago she moved to Pukekohe, started working in a cake shop and got involved in