The week that was

Quote of the week: “Wonder who the Warriors will sign now to fill the vacant role of chief scapegoat?” From the Twitter feed of our friend SportsFreak.co.nz commenting on who else but Shaun Johnson.

What did he say?: “I love reading but I don’t read. I start to read and then I think about Liverpool, [Jurgen] Klopp and I can’t focus.” It’s going to be a long season for Manchester City coach Pep Guardiola unless he takes up meditation or some other mindfulness practice.

Reports of my death have been exaggerated: An amateur Irish football club have apologised after falsely reporting the death of one of their players. Dublin club Ballybrack FC had informed the Leinster Senior League that Fernando Nuno La-Fuente had died in a traffic accident. Their game against Arklow Town was postponed while a minute's silence was held before other fixtures. However, it emerged that LaFuente is alive and well in his native Spain and the league has launched an investigation into his premature demise. The league placed a death notice in an Irish newspaper, offering its “heartfelt condolences” to his family and Ballybrack FC, before being notified La-Fuente had not died.