Befriending the boss a bad idea
Getting too close to the boss can lead to trouble,
They were great friends, but something went wrong and now it’s all over, rover, and the results are public fodder. Simon Bridges and Jami-Lee Ross’s very public falling out has provided New Zealand with many things – an insight into the machinations of power, five-star entertainment – but also a warning about what can go wrong if you befriend your boss.
It’s a sad fact of life that friends fall out, and when your friend is also your workplace superior, it can spell trouble.
But that’s not the only issue that can arise when it comes to workplace mateship across pay scales.
Workplaces are subject to the same rules that govern all social interactions – and the outcomes of any relationship can be both positive and negative. Friendships will develop naturally in the workplace, and it’s possible to be friends with someone who you report to. but you need to be aware that such friendships can have an impact on how your team functions.
“If you are perceived to be getting more favourable treatment, jealousy or gossip can set in and you can become isolated from your team,” explains Toni Jacka from HR firm Positive People.
“It can also make receiving feedback or instruction difficult, as it’s hard to separate the friendship and professional relationship.”
One of the issues that can arise involves the disclosure of information when socialising outside of the workplace. It’s human nature to gossip, and after a few drinks such information can easily slip.
“This can cause confusion at work, and open both you and your boss up to potential breaches of policy,” says Jacka.
In her opinion, friendships between senior and junior staff members are probably best avoided. But if such friendships do arise, clear boundaries need to be set in order to avoid any issues.
It’s important that the person in the
If you are perceived to be getting more favourable treatment, jealousy or gossip can set in and you can become isolated from your team. Toni Jaka, Positive People
senior position is careful to ensure that all staff receive the same level of care and attention. There could also be issues around discipline – it can be very hard giving a friend unfavourable feedback and you need to be mindful of how such things could be dealt with should they arise.
Fairness is also extremely important for good workplace morale. If certain people are seen as “favoured” by a manager, this can easily lead to resentment developing and the workplace festering with discontent.
Even if the employee involved is great at their job, and worthy of promotions and pay rises, if they happen to be close mates with the person doing the promoting, it can lead to sour grapes.
It’s almost impossible to foster a positive work environment when there’s the perception that there isn’t an even playing field. Most of us have had the experience of seeing someone with a close friendship to the powers that be rising through the ranks. And most of us will admit to feeling some twinge of resentment when they head to the top, even if they are worthy of promotion.
“Personal relationships which give employees the perception that everyone isn’t treated equally will be problematic, and cause employees to question all decisions, from pay rises to performance reviews. This impacts on morale as well as team dynamics and collaboration,” says Jacka.
For workplace friendships between people of different levels of seniority to succeed, there needs to be clear delineation between working life and friendship outside of work.
“It’s important to remember that if you have a friendship with your boss, you have two very different relationships with them – one as a friend and one as your boss. Distinguishing between the two will make it easier to determine which relationship you are in during different situations and behave accordingly,” says Jacka.
Discretion is vital – secret huddles in corners or arranging social events in hearing of other staff won’t go down well. Ensure that others don’t feel sidelined while you pal up with the boss (or vice versa) – people seen as “sucking up” to the boss are never popular.
And try to avoid gossip with both your boss and your team, so you don’t find yourself in the middle of an awkward situation.