The hard ques­tions

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As time is short Smith obliges with a round of quick-fire word as­so­ci­a­tion. Cli­mate change? “Fraud. The whole cli­mate thing is po­lit­i­cal sci­ence, not real sci­ence.”

Petrol or elec­tric? “What­ever works most sat­is­fac­to­rily. At the mo­ment and for the fore­see­able fu­ture it is petrol. The planet is just fine thank you. Man does not con­trol the cli­mate, CO does not con­trol the cli­mate.”

Just then a noisy boy racer roars down his quiet street. “Elec­tric,” ex­claims Smith, “I want elec­tric!”


“Once upon a time they used to be nice but now they are just vi­cious b ******* . You don’t want to write that. Once upon a time, you could de­bate with them, we were all in the same boat want­ing the same things. No longer.” So­lar or fos­sil? “Fos­sil.” You won’t find so­lar pan­els at Cleve­don Hills. “Too un­re­li­able. You haven’t men­tioned nu­clear. It’s wor­thy of in­ves­ti­ga­tion.” Gree­nies?

“Out of con­trol. It’s so old­fash­ioned to call them water­mel­ons but the healthy Green move­ment has been cap­tured by the po­lit­i­cal left. Con­trol freaks. I want my plas­tic bags back!” Ed­u­ca­tion? “Cap­tured by the left. It’s group­think.”


“Spare me.”

Bike paths?

“Blow them up.”

Mrs Pro­ducer? “Stun­ning. My fi­nal desti­na­tion.”

wanted out. The horse won its next two races and went on to win the Don­caster Hand­i­cap at Royal Rand­wick in 1994 and 1995, a race worth A$1 mil­lion then and A$3 mil­lion now.

We watch a re­play of Pharaoh’s storm­ing fin­ish to grab that first Don­caster by a nos­tril. “Bet­ter than sex,” ex­claims Smith.

He backed the horse weeks be­fore the race at odds of 100:1. On ar­riv­ing home Smith wrote a cheque that cleared his mort­gage.

There was a quar­ter-share in a $100,000 horse that never won a race and was sold for $5000. With that, Smith knew he’d had enough.

He’s sure it will be the same come Fri­day when he signs off his show for the last time. Don’t look back.

But it’s not the last you will hear from him. Smith will con­trib­ute a reg­u­lar col­umn and pod­cast for the Her­ald.

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