What to drive

2018 Mercedes-Benz A Class

THE CAR

The Mercedes-Benz campaign mantra is: “The Best, or Nothing.” I actually drive a Nothing. It’s such a Nothing that it’s going nowhere, with my mechanic advising me that it’s time to move on. I agree. The value of repairs absurdly outweighs the value of the Nothing. So the Nothing will be on Trade Me soon. Keep an eye out. As is, where is. But great, for a Nothing.

Mercedes-Benz does make a beautiful Best. That’s what I thought when I was driving back from Opotiki on Easter Monday, in torrential rain and torrential traffic. I had four other people in the car and I felt enormous relief that we were not in the Nothing. We were safe, we were clad in leather, titanium, alloy, brushed aluminium, velour.

THE DRIVE

Five hours to the East Coast. Return. Easter Weekend. Packed car, ghastly driving conditions on the return . . . all these elements provide a great test of a car. As soon as we can, we tune into Bridge 91.7FM Opotiki, which plays exceptional tunes from “the 50s to today”. We pull into the driveway and the cuzzies want to take the car for a spin around Opo, with Zelda suggesting mandatory stops at each roundabout, where all get out, run around the car, get back in and drive off. Not wanting to make a spectacle, Tara and I instead drive to the supermarket, buy some fried chicken and chips and head to the wharf to eat it and watch the kids do bombs. We are surrounded by a pack of ravenous dogs and puppies, though it’s unclear whether they are related. On Easter Saturday we go for a spin up to Hawai. If there is a more beautiful drive than this, I have yet to see it. White Island is as angry as ever, spewing out fumes that make a tall white column against the sky. There’s Whale Island and further along you can see the Cape. We jump in the ocean.

THE SPECS

Outside we are Cosmos black metallic (not the one in the picture). Inside, look blue, go purple. One of the great 90s bands from Dunedin. Also the ambient lighting we have chosen for the journey. But you can choose any colour on the spectrum. The sexy AF interior is two-tone red/black lugano leather. You can pick any combination on the spectrum depending on your mood. There’s wireless charging. Keyless go. The engine is 1991cc, 4-cylinder, direct-injection, turbocharged. Fuel consumption: 6.6l per 100km. 19” alloy tyres and all-wheel drive. Not at all like Nothing. The Best will set you back $63,900 and for the pimping sports package, $73,550.

Sarah Daniell