Revealing his dad’s fantasies

Des Sampson talks to Jamie Morton about why he took his father’s porn novel to global audiences

IfI wasn’t shocked by it, I don’t think it would work as well.

What would you do if you discovered your dad was writing porn? Disown him, recoil in horror or just keep mum? Well, not if you’re Jamie Morton. He told the whole world: “My Dad Wrote A Porno!”

When Jamie Morton’s dad casually suggested that he might write a book, now that he had retired, his son thought nothing more of it. Imagine his surprise, a few weeks later, when his dad emailed him his first draft of Belinda Blinked, an erotic compendium of sales director Belinda Blumenthal’s sexual escapades at Steele’s Pots and Pans.

“Honestly, it was so unexpected because my dad had just said that he was thinking about writing a novel, in his spare time,” he recalls. “I actually thought it was a good idea, as it would keep him out of trouble. But the moment I read the first sentence, about Belinda getting naked, I was mortified. It was so embarrassing!

“I really couldn’t understand why he’d written it or why he’d sent it to me,” admits Morton, blushing as he recounts the incident. “It turns out he’d heard that E.L. James had made a s***load of money, writing middling erotica and thought he could do it too. I really didn’t want to read my dad’s porn, at first, but then my curiosity got the better of me and, as I read it, I pretty quickly realised that it was the best — and worst — thing I’d ever read.”

Unable to contain himself, Morton rang his bosom buddies James Cooper and Alice Levine, imploring them to join him at the pub.

“James was so embarrassed; he wanted to put a lid on it at first,” says Cooper. “But once he read it to us, it just opened Pandora’s box and we became obsessed with it.”

“Yeah, there aren’t many things that make you belly laugh like that,” adds Levine. “We were in the pub for hours, crying with laughter, because it was just so brilliantly naive, pure and

shockingly bad. It felt like it had legs though, like others would get it.”

It turns out she was right and, after cajoling Morton, the trio decided to turn his dad’s saucy tales into a comedic podcast. Four years later, more than 150 million “Belinkers” — as its followers are affectionately dubbed — have downloaded and listened to My Dad Wrote A Porno, making it one of the most popular podcasts in history.

“I think there’s a kind of universality to the concept, because everybody’s got an embarrassing parent,” suggests Morton. “But also the idea of talking to your parents about sex, which no one wants to do, adds another level to it. That made it exciting to do, especially when we started touring it and doing live performances.”

One of their earliest gigs was in Auckland, a show that they recall fondly. It was a night that made them realise just how much My Dad Wrote a Porno meant to them and its growing legions of fans.

“That was such a great night; Kiwis are definitely in touch with their inner porn,” laughs Levine. “That show kind of kicked things off for us, because it was early on and the reception we got really made us believe in this. So in many ways Auckland started us off on our sexy journey — it was the wind beneath our wings in spreading the good word of Dad Porn.”

Two years on from that night, the latest conduit for Morton, Cooper and Levine to spread their porno gospel is an HBO television special, which features them performing the “Lost Chapter of Belinda Blinked”, in front of a packedout, loved-up London show at the Camden Roundhouse.

“We’ve performed ‘The Lost Chapter’ before, on tour, but it’s never been on one of our podcasts, so this HBO special is the first time people can get to hear it, if you haven’t been to a live show,” says Levine.

“But because we like to keep things fresh and throw in a lot of improvised bits, even if you’ve seen us perform before, this will still be different,” she adds. “The HBO version is probably the best it’s going to get because we’ve honed it, over the years, on tour. It’s a good introduction to Dad Erotica 101.”

It is a great sneak peek of Belinda Blumenthal’s smutty sexual shenanigans. It’s also a reminder of just how embarrassing it is for Morton to have to read his dad’s most outrageous erotic fantasies in front of a roomful of strangers, while Cooper and Levine poke fun at him.

“As much as I think I’ve become desensitised to the sex element, there’s still something I wince about in every episode,” admits Morton. “Part of that is because I am a little prudish but also I forget the smut that my dad has written, which I have to read. But I think that’s part of the appeal of the show: if I wasn’t shocked by it, I don’t think it would work as well.”

“A lot of people have said we’re like the Harry, Ron and Hermione of porn because we were pretty naive, prudish and ‘top button done-up’ at the start. And it’s true,” adds Levine, laughing. “My goodness, our eyes have really been opened by doing this.”

So have their audiences, as they wade through the mucky mind of Morton’s dad, penned by his alter ego, Rocky Flintstone, as a hobby in retirement. Who said a little bit on the side isn’t fun? Morton, Cooper and Levine definitely think it is, as do millions of listeners . . .