‘I knew he was broken but I never thought he would kill’
Not long after Joseph James Brider was arrested in January this year, police called his former partner to notify her of the murder charge.
For years the woman was battered, beaten and brutalised by Brider and when the cops revealed the new charge she was horrified.
The woman sat down with the Weekend Herald ahead of yesterday’s court hearing to share her harrowing experience at the hands of the killer.
In the beginning, Brider was everything she thought she wanted.
But over time, everything about him made her feel sick.
And just when she thought he couldn’t get any worse — that he had hurt women in every possible way already — he murdered Juliana Herrera.
“I wish he’d killed me . . . At least I knew him,” said Mary, choking back tears. “This poor lady, she didn’t deserve this, she didn’t have a chance.
“I knew he was broken but I never thought he would actually kill someone.”
Mary — using a pseudonym to protect the privacy of her family — said she met Brider through friends.
She said at first her life with Brider — then a dairy farm worker — was “absolutely amazing”. But soon, things “went ugly”.
“Boom — straight downhill,” she said. “We were constantly fighting
. . . it was just so negative . . . I’ve had pots thrown at me, hammers, everything you could possible thing of has been thrown at me, I’ve been thrown through windows, doorways, through walls.”
Court documents provided to the Herald confirm the violence that Brider dished out to Mary that required frequent police and court intervention.
One judge said Mary “always
recognised” her union with Brider was “volatile”.
During their relationship there were 10 police callouts for domestic violence and Brider was convicted a number of times for assaulting Mary.
At one point Brider told a probation officer that Mary “knew how to push my buttons” and appeared to place the blame for the violence on her.
“The violence . . . so regularly punctuated this unfortunate relationship, your focus so often when engaging on attacks on your partner. This woman has been subjected to an abuse relationship over a period of time.”
‘He just turned into a monster’
The couple moved to the South Island for a fresh start but after the 2011 quakes Brider “went really ugly”.
They were living in Mid-Canterbury and Brider was travelling to work in Christchurch doing temporary work in the labour and construction industry.
“I don’t know why but . . . he just turned into a monster,” she said.
Mary had been exposed to domestic violence her whole life and thought the abuse she suffered at Brider’s hands was “just normal”.
“I didn’t know any better,” she said. “I tried to fix the relationship, I offered to go to counselling with him — he turned to drugs and it just got really bad.
“I had boiling water thrown at me . . . He would throw anything he could get his hands on . . . but I still thought it was normal, I’d grown up with violence and I thought that’s how things were in life.
“I went to the police all the time but I was the dum-dum that would take him back after each court appearance.”
When Brider went to prison in 2014, Mary felt nothing but relief.
But when his release was approaching she was terrified.
“I was anxious and scared, because he’s always told me that he would come back,” she said. “I didn’t think he’d ever stop.”
When police called Mary in January she initially panicked, fearing for her own safety.
“I just had an ugly vibe that something bad was going to happen,” she recalled.
“I thought it was just a big joke, I didn’t believe it . . . I knew he was violent, but I didn’t believe that he would actually kill somebody — that he was that mentally broken that he would actually go out and really kill somebody.”
Mary went online and looked for information about Juliana Herrera.
“I had to go and see who she was, see what she was and try to work out why he would target her
. . . she was a lot like I was when I was younger when I first met him,” she said, breaking down in tears.
Mary said it took her a long time to be able to feel safe in her current relationship.
She said her partner is amazing but she was so damaged by Brider.
“It’s taken me a long time to not feel so scared — like, when my partner would stomp around the house, I would freak and I would duck and I’d go into a panic attack that I’m going to get hit again,” she said.
“It has taken me six years to come around and say ‘He’s not going to hurt me. He’s not coming after me. I’m fine. I’m okay’.
“I am actually disgusted that I let myself go through that (relationship with Brider) . . . but I didn’t understand it . . . now I am much stronger.”
Mary hopes Brider stays in prison for the rest of his life. “He’s not safe,” she said.
“I hope he rots for what he’s done.
“To Juliana’s family — I’m sorry that this has happened to them and I wish I could change it.
“I wish I could have gone instead . . . I know that nothing will ever bring her back and I am so sorry.”