Keeping memories alive after a wanton killing
As the last of those responsible is sentenced for the murder of Taranaki farm worker Jacob Ramsay, his widow and their children tell Tara Shaskey about how they remember him as being a flawed but still loving father.
If 7-year-old Hunter had one more moment with his dad, he would ask him to “squeeze the cheese”.
He laughs when he explains that was what his dad, Jacob Ramsay, would declare before hugging him tightly and making a fart sound.
It’s indicative of the father Ramsay was: Equal parts goofy and fun, loving and affectionate.
“He loved being a dad. He loved the boys. He was so hands-on. He was always there for them and doing stuff with them,” his widow Sarah Ramsay says.
Ramsay, also known as Jake, was stepfather to Sarah’s son Lucus, 12, and together the couple had Hunter and Olliver.
But Olliver will grow up having never met his dad as Sarah was pregnant when Ramsay was murdered on a Taranaki farm on July 29 last year. Only weeks later, Olliver was born. Now, he’s 13 months old. He’s walking, climbing on furniture, playing with his toys, trying to talk.
His growth is a reminder of how long his father has been gone.
The 33-year-old’s body was found in the rubbish pit on a dairy farm in O¯ aonui, South Taranaki.
He had been beaten unconscious by his colleagues William Candy, 39, and Ethan Webster, 19.
Then, on the tanker track at the farm, where they all worked and lived in separate farmhouses, Candy chained him to the back of a car by his ankle and he and Webster towed him almost a kilometre across gravel.
Candy and Webster admitted murdering Ramsay and were sentenced to life in prison in March.
Jodie Hughes, Candy’s partner, was acquitted but found guilty of manslaughter at trial in August.
She was angry Ramsay owed her and Candy about $250 for methamphetamine. As payback, she burgled his home and encouraged the attack. She was yesterday jailed for five years and six months.
Sarah is thankful the prosecution of the three has come to an end. She says the court process has been daunting and she was filled with anxiety before each hearing.
She attended almost every appearance of her husband’s killers, enduring countless hours of graphic details of how and why he was murdered.
It didn’t get easier but the saving grace was the end result. Justice.
Sarah’s happy with the jail terms handed down.
“I have a lot of hate towards them. I hate what they did and I hate that my kids are now missing out.”
She’s heartbroken by the cruel way in which Ramsay died and she’s angry it was over a mere couple of hundred dollars.
“No one should ever have to go through that,” she says from her home in Waikato, where she and the boys have moved.
At Hughes’ trial, much was said about Ramsay’s drug use, his debts and that he was allegedly stealing from the farm.
Sarah is frank when she acknowledges her husband’s vices.
He struggled with drugs and he was “shocking” with money.
Jacob had a rough upbringing and his substance abuse problems were well-established before they met in 2007 at Beach Hop in Whangamata¯.
While his drug use became a burden on their relationship, she says he was still a dedicated family man who tried not to let the two worlds collide.
“He wanted to do right by his family. He just had demons he was battling.”
Ramsay sought counselling and was clean for about eight months.
Only weeks before his death, he moved into the farmhouse on Upper Kina Rd, O¯aonui. The plan was for Sarah and the boys to remain in Stratford until the end of the year, when they would then join him at the farm.
She thinks he started using again just before he died.
“I had an inkling that he possibly was. He tries to hide it but I became pretty good at figuring it out.”
For all his flaws, Ramsay, who could usually be found tinkering with cars, gardening or drawing, had many redeeming qualities, Sarah says.
He was a hard worker, caring, a joker and had a heart of gold.
“If you needed $20 and he only had $20 left, he would give it to you.”
She recalls the last time she saw her husband alive.
She and the boys had gone to the farmhouse to deliver him some groceries.
It was an unremarkable visit. “He was just normal Jake. He was laughing, he was his happy, normal self.
“I didn’t know it was going to be the last time I would see him.” Four days later, he was dead. Sarah was at a midwife appointment when she learned the news.
She received a phone call from police, who told her they had found a body they believed was his and they were treating it as a homicide.
Sarah was asked about his tattoos in an effort to identify him over the phone. Eventually, Ramsay’s best friend was called on to identify him in person.
What took place next was the hardest conversation Sarah had ever had. She had to tell her children.
“I was in tears and I just kind of blurted it out to Lucus. With Hunter, I was a bit more careful with how I worded it.”
They were devastated.
The boys know Ramsay was murdered but Sarah has spared them the horrific details.
In their lounge on a warm afternoon this week, Hunter is busy looking through an album showcasing photos of him with his dad. He stops to say he is feeling “angry and sad”.
His special name for Ramsay is “dalla”, which came from his struggle as a toddler to say “dadda”.
He enjoys talking about his dad and, while doing so, he alternates between tears and laughter.
Lucus has unwittingly assumed the role of “man of the house”, Sarah says.
In between chasing Olliver and getting the washing off the line, he speaks about the “strange” year his family has had and how he wished he could tell Ramsay to “come home”.
Sarah is crushed her boys have lost their dad.
“It gets to me a lot that Jake isn’t around to see the kids reach their milestones and progress in their sports. He would be so proud of them.”
Knowing Olliver will never meet his father plays on her mind.
“He’s never going to have Jake’s
I have a lot of hate towards them. Sarah Ramsay
voice directed at him. He’s missed everything.”
Sarah has had to come up with creative ways to keep his memory alive.
Their walls are adorned with photos of him, including a huge canvas of Sarah holding Olliver with a superimposed image of her husband next to them, giving the impression the three took the photo together.
She wanted Olliver to have at least one photo with his dad, she explains.
Under the canvas sits a box containing his ashes. Sarah and the boys also have necklaces and teddy bears filled with his remains.
They’re all wearing their necklaces. The boys’ are cut in the shape of an infinity symbol while Sarah’s is a heart.
Hunter puts his on whenever he misses his dad.
Sarah also has a slideshow featuring photos and videos of Ramsay saved to their TV.
She plays it often. She’s scared she’s going to forget his voice.
“But I’ll never forget his laugh.” Ramsay laughed like Peter Griffin from the sitcom Family Guy.
The slideshow is filled with memories he made with Sarah and the boys. There are fishing trips, playground visits, rides around the farm, camping experiences and water adventures.
A video exchange between Hunter and his dad shows them telling each other “I love you” while poking their tongues out and making silly faces.
It cuts to Sarah and Ramsay’s first dance at their wedding in 2021. A year of dance training saw them pull off a rumba to Eric Clapton’s Wonderful Tonight in front of a roomful of guests.
“It was the one time that we did it that we didn’t forget anything or muck it up. Jake worked well under pressure,” she laughs.
Now, as Sarah navigates life as a solo parent, she’s not sure what the future holds for her and the boys.
Life is harder financially and she is hoping to secure a rent-to-own home through Habitat for Humanity.
All of the plans she made with Ramsay died with him.
“He always joked that we’d sit on the porch together and he’d be the grumpy old man and I’d be the nana in the rocking chair next to him. But it’s just one day at a time now.”