The weird, wacky and wonderful

Anyone can submit a petition calling on Government to do something — and our most colourful petitions do

Most New Zealanders would not know the name Mary J. Carpenter — but her signature was the first on arguably New Zealand’s most famous petition.

Carpenter, and 25,000 people including Kate Sheppard, signed the suffrage petition 125 years ago.

According to the Government’s historical database, the sheet of paper the petition was written on was 270m long.

Petitions have played a powerful part in New Zealand’s democracy through the years.

A petition from a man called Wiremu Demchick in 2016 led to a bill that expunged convictions for historical homosexual offences.

It’s believed that more than 1000 gay men were convicted and shamed before homosexuality was legalised in 1986, and in July 2017 Parliament formally apologised to them.

And more than 25,000 people signed Danielle Mackay’s petition asking the Government to ensure she receives cochlear implant surgery before she loses her hearing.

Because of the petition, Health Minister at the time Dr Jonathan Coleman announced an extra $6.5 million would be spent on providing cochlear implants for adults.

But not all public petitions are quite as groundbreaking.

In New Zealand, anyone can submit a petition to Parliament calling on the Government to do just about anything — and they do.

Here are a few of the weirdest:

Petition to ban lip kissing children without their consent One person wants the act of kissing a child on the lips, even for parents, to be outright banned.

“You would not kiss your sibling or friend on the lips and you as an adult would not appreciate being kissed on the lips without your consent,” the petition said.

Although it has been open for almost a year, it has just two signatures.

Petition to make drug testing of all MPs compulsory

With 220 signatures and counting, this petition is one of the most popular on this list.

“I think that it’s quite comical how often MPs state that they have never used [drugs] or used once when young — I’d like to have proof of that,” the petitioner said.

Although many of the details of how this would work in practice remain unclear, the person behind this petition said if MPs don’t like the

rule, they can leave.

Petition to fund sunblock for all New Zealanders This petition is not entirely laughable, given New Zealand’s high rate of melanoma.

The petition asks the Government to pass a law so all New Zealanders are entitled to a funded

1 litre bottle of sunscreen per person every year.

“With the Government’s help, potentially households will be reducing serious burning and the long-term effect of skin cancers.”

Ban social media in New Zealand

Although it only has 30 signatures, this one might turn out to be quite popular with many people.

“I believe that there are too many instances of cyber-bullying and threats of violence on Facebook and other social media. Nobody should put up with bullying by a complete stranger,” this petitioner said.

Petition to make New Zealand an Australian state

The person who started this petition and the 10 people who have signed it want the Government to “urgently initiate” a process with the Australian Government so New Zealand becomes an Australian state.

“Because this will be better for us, better [for the] economy, easier travel, more jobs, less silly taxes for selling goods to Australia.”

Petition to stop noisy music from vehicles in residential areas

“I live on a residential street where through-traffic has increased noticeably from when I originally moved here,” this person said.

They add there has been an increase in the inconsiderate loud bass music coming from vehicles in their neighbourhood.

The solution to this problem? For the Government to pass legislation so fines for excessive noise are increased to $300, according to the petition.

Petition to ban money as a form of currency

To quote this petitioner: “I believe that the things people need should be free and that people should not have to pay for them.”

“I believe it is difficult to work with money, and by giving things to people would free people from the chains of money and not having what they need.”

Petition to change the law so people are allowed to be naked at all beaches

“I think that people should be allowed to show their nude bodies at beaches and be comfortable about it,” is all the rationale this person gave for this submission.

Sadly for them, their petition has zero signatures. But there are more than 325 days until the petition’s closing date, so there’s still time.