Still waiting to say goodbye: How lockdown changed funerals
Whanganui funeral directors went into uncharted territory when Covid19 alert level 4 restrictions were announced last year, with technology often the only way to provide friends and families with a connection to funeral services.
A year on, people overseas are still not able to return home to say goodbye, meaning those entrusted to provide a fitting funeral service are still using livestreams to connect people around the world.
Dempsey and Forrest funeral director James Forrest said 95 per cent of their funerals were now webcast, compared to around 10 per cent pre-lockdown.
“It’s become a very powerful form of communication and people have really got their heads around it,” Forrest said.
“People on the other side of the world can now talk back at the funeral, which is a beautiful thing.”
The first week of lockdown had been especially tough, Forrest said.
“Those poor families weren’t even allowed to visit their loved ones, so for us it was just taking that person directly to the crematorium or cemetery. We had to come up with ways of making that as pleasant as possible for the family, whether that be by taking photos or driving past the family home.
“Grief brings out the best and worst in people and, thankfully, people were accepting of the Government’s restrictions. Families were so understanding, it was magnificent.”
A number of families had indicated they would have a second funeral service once lockdown restrictions had eased, Forrest said.
“We have a service this Saturday for a family who lost a loved one during level 4, and they’ve decided to wait for the year anniversary to have a memorial service, which is lovely.
“We’re all different though, and
what’s right for one person may not be right for the other.”
Craig Cleveland, of Cleveland
Funeral Home, said Covid-19 restrictions were “hard on everyone”.
“We became pretty distressed, because we were used to being able to help people and put things in place,” Cleveland said. “When we went to level 4 there were to be no funerals, and there were to be no gatherings.
“We had a case of a 107-year-old, Whanganui’s oldest resident, who died right in the middle of lockdown.
“The saddest thing about it was that even though her two sons were able to come and view in their family bubble, her own daughter was locked down at a rest home.
“When they had their family goodbye, which meant following us up to the crematorium, that’s all, they weren’t even able to be close to their sister.
“All those huge dynamics made us feel, in many ways, quite hopeless.”
Cleveland said a large number of memorial services were held in May, when the country moved into alert level 2, but before that, memorials were often almost entirely virtual.
“I had one funeral where I was the celebrant, Jonathon [Greenwell] was the funeral director, the casket was there with an empty chapel, and we were livestreaming a formal funeral service to 74 sites around the world.”
Despite the hardships of a year ago, Cleveland said he always tried to look at the positives.
“Zoom and livestreaming are still used as a tool by huge numbers of people, even within Whanganui. There are a group of older people here who we used to see at funerals a lot, but they’re still a little bit concerned about Covid-19, so they’re joining us via livestream.
“I think we’re very lucky in Whanganui that we have a close community with a huge amount of support, and I think that sense of community has only grown stronger since lockdown.”