Flipping the script
Whanganui’s 13th white ribbon march brings cheers from onlookers on the main street
The roar of three revving motorbikes certainly proved effective as Whanganui people’s curiosity led them out on to Victoria Ave to see what the commotion was.
Onlookers clapped and passing cars honked in support of Whanganui’s 13th White Ribbon Day march.
Internationally celebrated on November 25, White Ribbon Day focuses on men committing to the elimination of violence against women and promotes safe and healthy relationships in families.
“It’s an opportunity for men to stand tall and say we don’t agree with abuse and violence,” Jigsaw executive officer and one of the march’s organisers, Tim Metcalfe said.
“We’re very aware the upbringing of many men underpin a lot of the abuse and violence that happens, so it’s about breaking that cycle.”
Organised by the local White Ribbon action group, the march began on the corner of Taupo Quay and Victoria Ave and finished at Majestic Square where karakia and speeches were shared.
This year’s march attracted around 100 people, from organisations such as Mana Man and Jigsaw
to rangatahi (young people) and bikers.
“The attitudes that underpin violence are very entrenched in patriarchy,” Metcalfe said.
“Those of us on the forefront
encounter it every day.”
In 2019, 12 women died at the hands of a partner or ex-partner in New Zealand, the worst year for intimate partner homicide in a decade.
Metcalfe said since the walks
started in Whanganui 13 years ago, the coordination of support for family violence had improved greatly.
“While we get a high number of family violence in Whanganui we get much better reporting, which means people are reaching out.”
New Zealand ‘P’ Pull community addictions support Shannette Hirst was participating in the walk.
“All these people are here from all different walks of life,” she said.
“Agencies all the way through to our rangatahi.”
She said examples of change were walking in the march.
“And that’s what we want, not just people supporting change but people who have changed.”
New Zealand ‘P’ Pull is a national movement of people working to empower individuals, families and communities to a meth-free future.
“Meth is a huge problem in our community but we’re also very passionate about representing all kaupapa that is good for us.
“You don’t know who you’re impacting by walking past,” she said as onlookers were clapping.
She said it created an opportunity for conversations about difficult discussions that people might not otherwise talk about.
“The impact of that goes onto our partners, children, immediate families and friends and spreads wider into a ripple effect in the community.
“Sadly a lot of women are in codependent relationships.”
She said this included a past relationship she was in.
“When you’re in the hands of violence you want to minimise the violence and maximise the good times so you can stay.
“Because when you’re in that space you honestly don’t think you could live without this person.”
She said now she was with someone who respected her and would never hurt her.
“We walk the journey of change together not just for us but for our family and our community.”
The event’s MC Justin Gush said the theme of White Ribbon Day this year was “flipping the script”.
“We want to challenge some of the outdated ideas we have when it comes to raising our young men,”
Gush said.
“The notion of ‘boys will be boys’ allows negative and toxic behaviour to perpetuate as we grow into men.”
“Let’s get rid of that. Boys will be the men we raise them to be.”
“Boys will be respectful, boys will be loving, boys will be caring.”
Whanganui Police Flow team member Sergeant Andrew Buchanan said youth being involved in the march was good to get the message across.
“Unfortunately children are involved in family harm as much as adults and most of the time they don’t have any choice in that.
“So it’s crucial the children are here on the walk to support that.”
The Police Family Harm Team (Flow) is comprised of police and Tū poho iwi partnered with community agencies and providers.
Flow was introduced in Whanganui in 2018 to work towards detecting family violence earlier and increasing people’s confidence to report episodes of family violence.
“For us, it’s about taking the time to talk to people to understand what it is that drives the violence,” Buchanan said.
“Then work out how we support them to work things out and change.”
He said the Flow team had seen an increase in the number of calls.
“But the overall harm we think is reducing. People are speaking up more, whether it be neighbours or others that can see what’s going on.”
He said the earlier they could get to a situation the less harm resulted.