Mas­ter your mind to bring change

Whanganui Midweek - - News -

Sui­cide is a del­i­cate sub­ject and one in which we should all tread care­fully I feel.

The only con­ver­sa­tion I will ever be 100 per cent com­fort­able with when it comes to sui­cide is the open­ness to in­ter­ven­tions around preven­tion of it. While we have had plenty of men­tal health sup­ports in place, sui­cide con­tin­ues.

I don’t need a mas­ters to tell me that some­thing’s not work­ing. We could keep throw­ing re­sources at the ambo at the bot­tom of the cliff like we con­tin­u­ally do, or we could start look­ing at preven­tion.

The prob­lem with preven­tion is that it’s not mea­sur­able and fun­ders and providers are not go­ing to throw money where it can’t be mea­sured.

I have a the­ory, based on noth­ing else but lived ex­pe­ri­ence.

Men­tal health is by na­ture ‘holis­tic’ (Ma¯ ori un­der­stand this, yet Pa¯ keha¯ s seem to have lost their deep wis­dom around this) and while we can con­tinue to look ex­ter­nally at what isn’t work­ing, there is one ma­jor fac­tor that most won’t con­sider and that is our own per­sonal re­sponse to it. What say if de­pres­sion and anx­i­ety (while it can even­tu­ally ef­fect the brain) doesn’t start off like that? We don’t ‘wake’ up one day de­pressed, I don’t be­lieve.

It has more than likely been chip­ping away for some time, it’s just we havn’t been awake to the fact be­cause our self de­struc­tive thoughts have been sub­tly be­com­ing ‘the norm’ and up un­til some­thing hap­pens there has been no rea­son to chal­lenge it. Why fix what’s not broke at­ti­tude. What say if we just get lost and some of us so far lost we can’t get ‘back’ to our­selves?

The good news is that our brains can be rewired and not a minute goes past where we get the op­por­tu­nity to change our ac­tions which in turn can change our re­sponses, which can change our think­ing and be­liefs.

How­ever, chang­ing from the in­side out doesn’t hap­pen in five min­utes, it takes strat­egy fo­cus and prac­tice. Along with keep­ing vi­tal or­gans func­tion­ing, our brains are also pro­grammed for mean­ing mak­ing.

With­out this we would not be mak­ing any de­ci­sions. So where do we start? We STOP and ask our­selves about our own mean­ing mak­ing and what makes us feel good and what doesn’t. Our strong emo­tions are cer­tainly a clue and a link to our deeper be­liefs.

Is it any won­der then that peo­ple need to mask some pow­er­ful emo­tions with sub­stances and other ad­dic­tions or con­sider sui­cide as an only op­tion? I be­lieve un­til we start hav­ing con­ver­sa­tions about what deeply con­nects us as hu­man be­ings that ad­dic­tions and sui­cide will keep in­creas­ing.

There is no amount of as­set ac­cu­mu­la­tion, drug, nor con­nec­tion to any per­son on this planet that is pow­er­ful enough to mask our­selves for ever. While they might be a great short term so­lu­tion, our ‘true’ selves will keep try­ing to sur­face and will be chomp­ing away at our heels. A lot of peo­ple are acutely aware of what’s miss­ing in their lives, but less are pre­pared to take some ac­tion to shift their think­ing. I found my help through learn­ing about neuro science and tak­ing re­spon­si­bil­ity for the fact that I am the owner and cre­ator of my own mind, I am the mas­ter of my own mind and no longer a vic­tim of it.

While we didn’t have a choice as chil­dren, as adults we cer­tainly do now. Even though some thoughts and be­liefs are deeply em­bed­ded, it is NOT im­pos­si­ble to cre­ate new neu­ral path­ways and of­ten med­i­ca­tion can help in pro­vid­ing the space to cre­ate new path­ways. Science can prove this over and over. Our brain does not know the dif­fer­ence with what’s ‘real’ and what isn’t, be­cause what­ever we think is true, and be­comes more of a re­al­ity when we think it enough times. That’s the law of neuro science.

What a gift to dis­cover that we are not as pow­er­less as we have been led to be­lieve, and we ac­tu­ally get to choose our own mind to a big­ger ex­tent than we thought pos­si­ble. It’s time to stop run­ning around in cir­cles and start show­ing up. While it might have been the fault of oth­ers who lead us to have our thoughts and be­liefs, it is OUR re­spon­si­bil­ity to man­age those thoughts — rightly or wrongly. Be­liev­ing that we are not able to ‘heal’ un­til oth­ers give us some­thing we des­per­ately seek can keep us locked in the vic­tim cy­cle.

To start cre­at­ing our ideal lives we have to not be afraid to seek out­side what we have been con­di­tioned to. We are all more than our past if we be­lieve we are.

No body is ‘bro­ken’ un­less they be­lieve they are. If we con­tinue to be­lieve that our hap­pi­ness is de­pen­dent out­side of us then we are weak­ened.

I’m run­ning work­shops for peo­ple in Novem­ber and in the New Year for in­di­vid­u­als or cou­ples who are ready for men­tal free­dom.

Con­tact me to se­cure your space. Carla. www.car­las­coach­ing­forhealth.com

https://www.face­book.com/ 1on1onone/

■ WHERE TO GET HELP: If you or some­one else is in dan­ger or en­dan­ger­ing oth­ers, phone the po­lice im­me­di­ately on 111.

LIFE­LINE: ph 0800 543 354 (avail­able 24/7). SUI­CIDE CRI­SIS HELPLINE: ph 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO), avail­able 24/7. YOUTH­LINE: ph 0800 376 633.

NEED TO TALK? Free call or text 1737 (avail­able 24/7).

KID­SLINE: ph 0800 543 754 (avail­able 24/7). WHAT­SUP: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm). DE­PRES­SION HELPLINE: ph 0800 111 757.

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