Pausing a good gift

Practice the pause — Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you’re about to react harshly and you’ll avoid doing and saying things you’ll later regret.” — Lori Deschene

We all know how tense things get as Christmas looms up and how much must be done. I found this little book Tiny Buddha’s 365 days of Tiny Love Challenges by Lori Deschene, the founder of a popular online community Tiny Buddha.com — a simple guide to help readers pursue happy, connected lives and bring greater love into the world. Her suggestion of practising the pause reminded me that with all the rush it might be a great thing to share as I enter these next few weeks. This little book would make a great gift that keeps giving throughout the year.

My Angels often remind me that avoiding saying something is so much better than regretting it later, remembering to say “I’m sorry” when I am wrong and “I love you” are words we need to be saying more often.

As I pause this side of Christmas and reflect, it is not that I regret what I have been through in my life, like you, I have had some amazing ups and horrific downs with lots of experiences in the middle. However, I can sincerely say that I don’t regret the highs and lows, because they are all very much part of who I have become. George Sands — which was a pseudonym for Aurore Dudevant, a 19th century French author of novels, plays, essays and one of France’s greatest novelists — says “Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness”.

In December with five Saturdays, five Sundays and five Mondays, and we are already halfway to Christmas, I encourage you to “Guard well within yourself that treasure of kindness” and to “give without hesitation”.

Arohanui. Shirley-Joy.

■ For copies of my book “Mission in the City — Hopes and Dreams”. E-mail me at belbarow@gmail.com for a great gift for Christmas.