Real-life reads
Six weeks to live: How a Kiwi dad beat his shock diagnosis; Blind mum’s mission for her kids
Christmas Day is meant to be the most joyous time of the year, but on December 25 last year, Mike Avery had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.
The Auckland dad had been to the doctor with a persistent cough and after a battery of tests, he was told in November 2015 that he had just six weeks to live. Doctors found 28 tumours in his cheeks, neck, spine, lungs, ribs, pelvis and liver.
When Mike and his wife Felicity – known as “Fliss” – were given the news, she burst into tears and grabbed her husband’s hand tight.
The 53-year-old software architect says he just went numb. “I felt like I was watching a movie of my own life – I wasn’t present any more.” The couple were told to go home and enjoy their last summer together.
Mike’s children, James, 22, and Amber, 18, returned from the UK to spend precious time with their father.
His parents, Joan, 72, and John Avery, 78, struggled to process the news. “My mother asked, ‘How on Earth can I watch my own son die?’” recalls Mike.
Their extended family gathered for Christmas at Mike and Felicity’s home in Ellerslie, Auckland. “We all tried to be strong for Mike, but it was a really hard day,” tells Felicity, 47.
The couple married 10 years ago and have four children between them – Mike’s kids James and Amber, Felicity’s girls Brooke, 21, and Maddison, 19.
Mike tells, “On Christmas Day, I remember sitting and looking at Fliss and the kids. All I could think was, ‘I hope they’re OK when I’m gone.’”
It was back in October last year that Mike first developed a cough. “I just thought I was getting the flu.”
He went to his GP, where he was given antibiotics and was eventually diagnosed with pneumonia. When he didn’t improve, his doctor referred him for an X-ray and CT scan.
“I wasn’t worried,” he admits. “My grandparents both lived into their 90s. I thought I had good genes and was going to live forever.”
But scans showed up a cancerous tumour in his lung. “It was a huge shock,” says Mike. “But we thought, ‘OK, we can deal with it. It’s just one tumour.’”
But from there, the news got worse. A PET scan – where radioactive dye is injected into the body to check the progression of the illness – showed the cancer was stage 4 and widespread.
Cancershock
Mike says part of him didn’t believe the specialists. “I didn’t feel great, but I didn’t feel like I was dying.”
But reality hit when he was shown the scan. A year on, Felicity – who works in a dental practice – keeps a photo of it on her phone as a reminder. The 28 different tumours glow like orbs of light against Mike’s dark shadow.
Mike was told the cancer was a rare mutation of melanoma, known as BRAF Wild. Doctors believe the melanoma originated from a mole on Mike’s back. In October 2013, he had the mole checked by his GP and was assured it was fine.
It wasn’t removed until after his cancer diagnosis. “That doctor gave my husband a death sentence,” claims Felicity.
She and Mike were given two options. Chemotherapy would make him sick, but it could prolong Mike’s life for up to a year. The other option was Keytruda, an immunotherapy drug. The family was told that it had a 25% chance of working and it would cost $300,000 for a full treatment.
For Mike and Felicity, that meant selling the family home.
“I said to Mike, ‘It’s just a
building and it means nothing without you in it.’”
But thankfully, it didn’t get to that. Felicity’s daughter Maddie Chantry and Mike’s colleagues at Spark created a Givealittle page. Mike’s brother-in-law Miles Wentworth threw his weight behind the fundraising and a staggering $90,000 was raised within weeks. And in September this year, Pharmac began funding the drug.
Within 12 weeks of treatment, Mike’s tumours halved and his latest scan shows he is tumourfree. No-one knows what the long-term future holds, but for Mike, even an extra year is nothing short of a miracle.
“Sometimes I just look at Fliss and say, ‘I’m still here,’” tells Mike. “None of us can quite believe it. Mum says she still gets goosebumps when I walk into the room. I’m meant to be dead.”
The couple have celebrated with a trip to Fiji, but Mike admits it’s hard to stop worrying about the future. He urges everyone to look after their own health and get a second opinion if they are in any doubt. “If I had gone to a specialist with my mole two years ago, things would have been very different.”
Mike knows it’s a cliché, but confronting his own mortality has given him a new outlook. He is back at work but tries to stress less, and treasures the time he spends with friends and family. “I now actively say every day, ‘It’s good to be here.’”
Adds Felicity, “I think we both have a whole new lease on life.”
Mike concludes, “Cancer was the best and the worst thing that’s happened to me. The worst is easy to understand, but it’s also had a positive impact on my life. The time I have now is precious.”