Secrets of a royal mum
Kate’s most revealing interview ever!
In the six years since she married Prince William, the Duchess of Cambridge has attended hundreds of official events, but until now, her voice has remained largely unheard.
Apart from a handful of carefully crafted speeches delivered at formal occasions, the public has witnessed only glimpses into her personality.
However, in a film released last month, Kate shows a side never seen before, as she chats around a picnic table at Kensington Palace with her husband Prince William and her brother-in-law Prince Harry. The trio were having a frank discussion about their own emotional battles and the softly spoken duchess is shown gently encouraging William, 34, and Harry, 32, as they reveal the fallout since
losing their mother, Princess Diana, almost 20 years ago. Kate, 35, then goes on to share her own vulnerable feelings after becoming a mum.
“Nothing can really prepare you for that,” she says. “I remember the first few days with little George ... You have no idea, really, what you’re doing. No matter how many books you read.”
The groundbreaking footage is another bold move as part of the Heads Together campaign’s “#OktoSay” series, in which the young royals encourage people to open up about their mental health. Over the past few months, they’ve become increasingly vocal about their own lives – particularly William and Harry’s grief over losing their beloved mother Diana, who died in a car crash in 1997. The princes have finally spoken out about the fact they were never encouraged to talk about their mum, which left Harry, in particular, close to a breakdown in his 20s.
In the film, Harry says, “I always thought to myself, ‘What’s the point of bringing up the past? What’s the point of bringing up something that’s only going to make you sad? It ain’t gonna change it – it ain’t gonna bring her back.’ When you start thinking like that, it can be really damaging.”
After speaking to other families, he realised he “didn’t want them to have to go through the same things ... You want to try help as much as you can, and try and empower them to have that conversation.”
William agreed. “Harry and I, over the years, have not talked enough about our mother,” he said, adding, “It’s very easy to run away from it ... to avoid it the whole time.”
While most experts anda campaigners are praisingp the young royals forfo speaking out and helpingh to break down theth stigmas surrounding mentalm health, our royal commentatorco William LangleyL tells Woman’sDay their openness is raising eyebrows in some circles.
“Some critics have complained that the royals could have supported their cause without, as one put it, ‘spilling their own guts’ at a cost to the monarchy’s hard-earned reputation for stoicism,” explains William.
Pastheartbreak
“They point out that the Queen herself has been through many painful times, including the deaths of her beloved mother and sister Margaret in the space of a year, and the divorces of three of her children, without the slightest slippage in her composure or workload.”
Our royal writer adds, “A further objection is that William and Harry’s disclosures could be seen as an accusation that those around them – particularly their father
Charles, the Prince of Wales – failed to do enough to help.” But Charles’ supporters have been quick to defend him.
Says royal author Robert Jobson, “Those who know him best know that he did everything possible to help his sons and in very trying circumstances.”
However, as Harry himself put it in the emotional video which has gone viral around the world, at some point, “someone has to lead and has to be brave enough to force that conversation”.
Heeding his own advice, in the year which marks the 20th anniversary of his mother’s death, the red-haired royal went on to acknowledge how Diana’s passing had brought the pair closer to each other. William said, “Part of sharing your problems is to halve them,” adding that the brothers were “uniquely bonded because of what we’ve been through”.
While Kate – who enjoyed an idyllic upbringing away from the public eye – was never exposed to the trauma that afflicted her husband and Harry as a child, our royal commentator says
the brothers’ experience “has given her a rare perspective on the damage such raw grief can do.
“Kate has made it clear that she and William will encourage their children to talk about their problems rather than bottle them up.”
In a nod to Princess Diana, Kate added, “Considering what you boys sadly went through, the trauma that you experienced ... I think it’s incredible how strong you are and how you’ve been able to cope,” she said. “I put that down to your early years, your childhood experience.”
Our royal insider insists it’s Kate who is behind the princes’ brave decision to be so open. “Ever since she met William, Kate has heard what an incredible mother Diana was. By speaking about her and acknowledging their grief, she feels they are honouring her legacy. She has been integral in encouraging Wills and Harry to be brave enough to do it and they’re so grateful.”
And in a media interview last week, Harry said there’s no doubt his mother would be proud of what he, William and Kate are taking on in their mental health work.
“I think she would be proud of the campaign, proud of everybody involved, proud of us,” he said. “I think from her perspective, she would be overwhelmed and hugely encouraged by the fact that the UK – not known for wanting to talk about mental health issues – has suddenly got to this point.”
Indeed, it was Simon Wessely, president of Britain’s Royal College of Psychiatrists, who said that by speaking out, “Harry has done more good in one interview than I have in a 25-year career and made a huge difference to the way we discuss grief.”