SOLO AFTER SPLIT
Like many single mums, being a solo parent hadn’t been the plan for Hayley-Jean Wilson. When she fell pregnant with her first baby in 2015, she’d thought it was the exciting next step in her two-year relationship with her then-boyfriend. Instead, she found that with each passing month her bump grew, her romance crumbled. Then in December 2015, Hayley-Jean gave birth to Micah, now two, and found herself navigating parenting alone. “It takes a village to raise a child and I am lucky that I had that,” she says of the locals who rallied to support her in her hometown of Russell in the Bay of Islands. “Even to this day, I am grateful for all the help I had, especially from my mum, but there were times when I felt totally alone. That first year was hard.” The worst part of being a single mum, she admits, is the financial struggles. So when Micah turned one, Hayley-Jean decided to move to Whangaparaoa, in Rodney, for a hospitality job.
“I needed to work,” she says. “I loved hanging out with him, but we were always short of money. I had never been on a benefit before, so we were often struggling to make ends meet. And even if it didn’t put heaps more money on the table, at least it was a little bit more. And it’s also important to show him I’m an independent woman.”
Last year, Micah’s dad came back on to the scene and has taken a more active part in his son’s life. But the 25-year-old admits that the daily grind of solo parenting is still tough.
“People don’t appreciate how much goes into being the primary carer,” tells Hayley-Jean. “I can’t have a break and put him on mute. I try to approach parenting in a relaxed way. I want to be chilled and I have to be because generally, it’s just me.”