Let’s talk about sex

Jodie Mol­loy an­swers your most in­ti­mate ques­tions

Woman’s Day (NZ) - - Contents -

QI pre­fer to not have my hus­band put him­self in­side me. I know it frus­trates him be­cause he wants to do it when­ever he can, but I’m not sure I can pre­tend any longer that it ex­cites me. I’d rather just fo­cus on other things. Is this wrong?

● Not In­ter­ested, Snells Beach

A Noth­ing is wrong if it’s how you feel, but this needs to be dis­cussed and ac­counted for in terms of your re­la­tion­ship with your hus­band. There are a mil­lion ways you can still have an in­ti­mate re­la­tion­ship, but it sounds like you should at least have an hon­est chat or per­haps some cou­ples ther­apy. You don’t men­tion if your un­will­ing­ness is be­cause of some­thing emotional or phys­i­cal, or if it is the size of his pe­nis (a com­mon turnoff for women). It may be you are com­pletely aware of the cause, but you owe it to him to be hon­est. You have been pre­tend­ing up un­til this point and it’s not fair on ei­ther of you.

Q My boyfriend and I are liv­ing with my par­ents while we save money for a house. One day, when we thought we were alone, my mum walked in on me giv­ing my boyfriend oral sex and it was hor­ri­fy­ing. Do we just ig­nore it or bring it up and clear the air? Should we be apol­o­gis­ing?

● Mor­ti­fied, Palmer­ston North

A I think that you need to ad­dress the ele­phant in the bed­room. What you are de­scrib­ing is ev­ery­body’s worst night­mare. “Sorry” is a tough word be­cause you didn’t mean to of­fend or cause harm. What you might want to do is leave your boyfriend out of it, take your mum aside for a pri­vate mo­ment and sim­ply say, “I’m sorry you had to see that. I’m re­ally em­bar­rassed.” I think that some­times just say­ing what you feel and leav­ing it at that is best. Al­ter­na­tively, if the cringe is just too much to han­dle in per­son, maybe write a nice note and leave it dis­creetly for her to read in her own time.

QMy

sis­ter is hav­ing an en­gage­ment party and I want to get her a sex toy. She’s su­per-fussy and al­ler­gic to loads of things. Any ideas?

● Sis­terly Love, Seatoun

ASil­i­cone

is a girl’s best friend. That said, I’m al­ways con­cerned when I hear of women buy­ing other women sex toys as they are about to em­bark on a life­time sex­ual jour­ney with some­body, like it’s a part­ing gift! How­ever, a pop­u­lar choice is the Adam & Eve Sil­i­cone Di­a­mond Dar­ling. This is for ev­ery­body, sin­gle or mar­ried, and great friends should con­sider buy­ing “feel­good” gifts for all oc­ca­sions.

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