Foster kid & teen mum I GAVE MY OLD LIFE THE CHOP!
An MP’s talk changed her life for good
Every day before school, a precocious 11-year-old Ashley Green would sneak her mum’s mascara and lipstick into the bathroom, and artfully apply it to her face before racing out the front door.
Defying the rules, Ashley would wear make-up in class, but come the final bell, she made sure every last trace of the pricey cosmetics was wiped off before returning to her Nelson home.
Little did the 21-year-old know this youthful obsession with appearance, coupled with an inspirational encounter with a senior government minister, was to shape her future – especially after her life threatened to spectacularly derail midway through her turbulent teenage years.
Sporting a fashionable lob and perfectly applied, on-trend navy glitter eyeshadow, the former ward of the state tells Woman’s Day that despite a rocky start, her life was filled with love and acceptance when she was fostered into the Green household.
“I shifted from home to home and then I met my amazing family when I was doing respite care at about four years old,” she tells. “They took me in a year later because they were over seeing me juggled around.”
For the next decade, Ashley experienced family life on a grand scale with foster parents Diane and George Green, and their seven children.
“It was amazing because we were a family,” recalls Ashley, who fondly refers to the Nelson couple as superstars. “None of us ever felt it wasn’t our family, which is one thing I really appreciated. I never felt like I didn’t fit in.”
Off the rails
But midway through her teens, Ashley decided to turn her back on those who loved her. “A part of me felt ready for adulthood, which I obviously wasn’t because I was 15. I made it really tough for Mum because she was trying to protect me, but I wanted to do things on my own and that caused strife.”
While Ashley was hell-bent on burning bridges, it changed the moment she discovered she was pregnant with her daughter Aaliyah at 16.
“It freaked me out,” she tells. “I went back to Mum and she welcomed me with open arms. Mum and Dad’s amazing love and support put me on the right track.”
Following a second pregnancy a year later with Mila, a “lost” Ashley was urged by her mum to attend L’Oréal’s Face Your Future programme in Auckland. The two-day gathering, that aimed to get children in care thinking about their future, proved life-changing. Among the inspirational speakers, an address by Defence Minister Ron Mark – himself a foster child – made a lasting impression and sparked a new direction for the troubled teen.
“He said every morning you start with a fresh piece of paper and throughout the day, your piece of paper gets full,” she recounts. “At the end of the day, you can look at the piece of paper and ask, ‘Do I like what has been written on my piece of paper or do I not?’
“He said then you can either screw up that piece of paper and chuck it if you don’t like it, or you can put it in your notes to grow on and tomorrow you have a new sheet of paper.”
Taking these words to heart, Ashley decided to turn her lifelong passion for hair and make-up into a career.
“I’d do my sisters’ hair and make-up, and if friends had events on or were going out, they’d ask me to do their make-up too.”
After completing a year at the Nelson Institute of Technology, Ashley’s beauty career was boosted by a L’Oréal sponsorship and an apprenticeship at local hairstylists Chicks and Chaps.
“I am in an amazing salon with an amazing team, and working towards the next steps to get myself up and up!” enthuses Ashley.
Remember me?
Excited by the positive direction her life is taking, she finally got to thank MP Ron for the speech that made an enormous impression at a crossroads in her life two years ago.
Coming face to face with her high-powered mentor, the solo mum told him the message spurred her to make positive changes in her life.
The minister tells us he was incredibly impressed by Ashley’s accomplishments.
“She’s an astonishing young woman,” he asserts. “She was brave enough to see herself and her future a little differently. I’m so proud of her.”
Ron – who has shared his story to hundreds of foster children over the past decade in the hope it will set them on a successful path – reflects, “If what I say can help even one child, then it’s worthwhile.”