GOOP GRACIOUS!

Kate wonders, is sharing really caring?

Sharenting” – when parents share or overshare their kids on social media – is often in the spotlight. Just recently, Gwyneth Paltrow posted a selfie with her 14-year-old daughter Apple on Instagram. Her daughter was in a ski mask, so all you could really see was her mouth and nothing else, but that wasn’t on as far as Apple was concerned. She voiced her disapproval in the comments section under her mother’s picture: “Mom, we have discussed this – you may not post anything without my consent.”

Gwyneth wrote back, “You can’t even see your face!”

It goes to show this famous family are not that different to us mere mortals when it

comes to parent-teenager battles. The line had been drawn and disappointingly for Apple, it’d been crossed.

There was swift and vitriolic reaction to the picture from all sides – those who felt a mother should ask permission and get consent before posting, and those who felt a mother could do whatever she liked and that Apple was a spoilt brat.

On average, a baby has their image uploaded to social media within an hour of being born. By age two, 60% of children have a digital footprint. So you can see why the oversharing debate has raged for so long. Many argue what’s shared by families on social media comes down to the relationship you have with your kids.

But don’t underestimate how that changes as they get older. Will your child be traumatised by those images of them in the bath at age four with their cousin when they’re say, 15? You bet they will. The older they get, the more brutal they get with you too.

Many go a lot further than just reprimanding their mums on Instagram. In Europe, teenagers have been known to sue their parents for invasion of privacy.

But what about the parents? Many argue not sharing photos of their kids is to act as though you don’t even have kids. They’d argue that to share the journey of parenting is a helpful tool for other parents.

I know from writing this column that it has become harder and harder in terms of all that I can’t say. Teenagers do not want to be talked about by Mum for obvious reasons, but even my youngest has sometimes come home upset after being teased at school because of something someone’s mum has read in a column and passed on to their child. I’ve been reprimanded several times.

So, where’s the line? A digital footprint is impossible to erase and though most of us parents like to think our relationships with our kids will never change, wait until they’re teenagers. So how did Gwyneth get it wrong?

And does that make her a bad parent or her daughter Apple a spoilt brat, as some allege? It’s a delicate balance, but one we should maybe pause to consider before we hit the upload button.