MAKE A WISH!

All Kate’s birthday s have come at once

In a perfect world, birthdays are spread out evenly throughout the year and everyone gets their moment in the sun. But, sadly in our family, we have birthdays in two distinct group waves.

January sees my daughter, my husband and me all having birthdays within about a week of each other. Then six months later, both of my sons and my twin stepdaughters have their birthdays within a week of each other. In fact, one son and the stepdaughters’ are just two days apart.

Yes, January and June are a busy and expensive time. When they were little, birthdays were easy because little kids get excited over little things – cake, a balloon, maybe a trip to the park. The presents are also easier – something from Smiggle, a teddy bear, a ball, maybe some Wiggles PJs. But as they get older … whoa.

Older kids don’t really want to be celebrating them with you. They’d rather be partying with their friends. I offered one of my sons a family dinner out for his birthday. He looked at me as if I’d suggested the plague. In short, he would accept said offer if it was (a) early and, (b) he could head straight out afterwards.

And that’s the terrifying thing. Whereas when they’re little your worst nightmare might be trying to get them to sleep after the sugar rush, the older birthday child keeps you awake all night worrying about where they might be and when they’ll be coming home.

The gift situation for older children is also tricky. They have discerning tastes. They are brand-conscious. They have a love of expensive items like electronics, designer clothes and random things you’ve never heard of and will probably have to google.

They don’t want cake. They don’t want anyone knowing it’s their birthday. They don’t want you to post anything on social media. In fact, to do so is akin to signing yourself a death warrant. I made this mistake, not only writing loving words, but also including a montage of shots from his childhood and a few questionable haircuts.

I thought I’d get away with it by posting it on a private family account, but oh no. Mum’s trip down memory lane and loving tribute was soon thwarted by said son. The words “cringe” and “stop, Mum, delete it” were soon issued my way. Followed by threats of death.

You can also never run the element of surprise. Surprising a small child results in guaranteed unabated joy and pleasure. You can’t possibly get it wrong because you know them better than they know themselves, and everything you do is magical and perfect.

Surprising a teenager, though, is again, making a death wish. So if you have small children, relish and treasure every birthday because all that happens later on is that, to be honest, they don’t really care.