‘I’VE LOST MY GREATEST LOVE’
Just one year after the happiestday of his life, father-of-four Manu has suffered unbearable heartbreak
In both life and death, Kaye Ene knew how to bring people together. When she married Manu Ene, her partner of 22 years, the small community of O¯ po¯tiki turned out in droves, filling the park where they exchanged vows and flooding out on to the footpath. At one stage, it looked like they’d have to close the road too.
And when Kaye tragically passed away at age 41 in February this year after a car crash, people again showed up, lining the streets outside their homes to watch Kaye’s final haerenga [journey] through town before she was laid to rest.
Manu recalls fireworks going off and a convoy of motorbikes, telling Woman’s Day it felt like the entire Bay of Plenty town came out to see her off.
“We took her on the back of a flatbed truck and went to places where she’d spent the most time,” recalls Manu, 44. “Everywhere we went was flooded with wha¯nau and friends.”
The longtime lovebirds met as Kaye was leaving high school. Manu was instantly smitten, but Kaye took a bit of convincing, he jokes. “I thought there was no chance and I had to work for it! She just stood out to me. She was different. It was her personality and outgoing vibe – everything about her was attractive. I could see she was my future.”
Despite much adversity, Manu and Kaye shared even more joy with their four tamariki – Terrence, 23, Jackie, 20, TeAuaroha, nine, and Timi, five.
But in December 2019, teacher aide Kaye was travelling home from a day out with her O¯ po¯tiki Primary School colleagues when a ute on the other side of the road collided with the van they were in. Everyone sustained injuries, but Kaye’s were the most severe, leaving her paralysed from the waist down.
The traumatic accident inspired Kaye to propose to Manu, a fulltime caregiver. The pair had discussed marriage many times over the years, but life always got in the way.
However, after surviving the horror crash, Kaye knew she didn’t want to wait any longer and while recovering in the Auckland spinal unit, she popped the question. “She beat me to it,” laughs Manu.
He was visiting Kaye in hospital after work when she asked him to read to her from the visitor book that friends and wha¯nau had been signing. He had no idea the last entry was one she’d written herself – a story about their life and love with a proposal at the end.
The answer was yes and the couple were wed by their longtime friend, celebrant Annette Papuni-McLellan, with the big day filmed for new TV series Aroha Nui: Say I Do, which follows Ma¯ori celebrants as they guide couples to the altar and is
‘She just stood out to me. She was different’
now streaming on TVNZ OnDemand.
While normally a man of few words, Manu’s touching wedding vows expressed his love for Kaye perfectly. “We have laughed and cried together,” he proclaimed while holding Kaye’s hands. “We have stood by each other in good times and hard times. We have been through so much together over the last 22 years.
“I am very proud of who you are you, your personality, your honesty, your loyalty, laughter and your aroha. I want you to be my wife. I love you.”
Sitting beside Manu and
his children for moral support as he speaks to Woman’s Day, Annette, 55, says she feels privileged to have officiated their wedding.
“I’ve done some pretty special weddings, but this is up top because of the love from their wha¯nau and community,” she explains. “All that manaakitanga [support and hospitality] they received is a reflection of Kaye and Manu.
“Kaye was larger than life. She knew what she wanted in the wedding. It was pouring with rain, but people just stopped to be there on the footpath. There were so many, we thought we were going to have to close the road.”
Tragically, Manu and Kaye were married less than a year before a second car crash claimed Kaye’s life. She was travelling in a van with her carer Moewai Hope, who also passed away, when the vehicle hit a barrier and swerved into oncoming traffic.
Manu remembers Moewai as Kaye’s favourite carer, who regularly travelled long distances to look after his wife and always went out of her way to help. Recalling life with his beloved, the heartbroken father hopes their children will grow up knowing what an outgoing, involved mother they had.
“She had this mana, this power in her – if she knew she was right, she knew and no one was going to tell her otherwise, but she would always stick up for others,” says Manu, who jokes that he refused to go to the supermarket with her because a short trip to the shops could take hours as she stopped to talk with everyone. “I hope the kids realise how much their mum did to try and teach them.”
Manu is softly spoken and stoic, desperately trying to hold it together for his children, but as he speaks about Kaye, he wipes away tears. His young daughter TeAuaroha climbs into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.
Manu continues, “Since her passing, we’re getting on with it, but there are a lot of times where that missing piece isn’t there. As long as we’ve been together, my job was to go to work and bring home the bacon. I never saw what was behind the scenes – all the paperwork and organising. It’s a whole new ball game.”
Without Kaye, Manu admits he’s struggling to raise their tamariki alone, but he’s grateful for the support of his sister Aroha and so many others from their community.
Despite the heartbreak and hardship, he ensures his children know how special they are to him every day.
He tells, “Every morning when I wake up and at night when I put them to bed, I tell them I love them.”
‘When I put them to bed, I tell them I love them’