JUDGE JAY-JAY

More FM radio diva Jay-Jay Feeney delivers her verdict on your biggest dilemmas

HE’S A HEARTBREAKER!

Hi Jay-Jay,

I need some help breaking up with my boyfriend. We have been together for about seven months. He’s super-nice and good-looking enough, but he’s a bit clingy and lazy, and it’s starting to drive me crazy.

I have brought it up, but he thinks I’m being too fussy. I don’t see this relationship lasting, so I need to end it now, before it gets too hard to do so. But I’m a bit gutless. I don’t know what to say or how to do it without hurting his feelings. I feel like such a terrible person. Argh! Please help me out of this one.

Jenna, Wellington

Kia ora, Jenna!

It is never easy breaking up with someone. It’s almost impossible to do it without causing hurt. So if this is what you really want to do, you need to just rip that plaster off – the Break-Up Fairy isn’t coming to visit to do it for you!

Be as honest as you can be, but try to avoid blaming him. He’s probably oblivious to his laziness and clinginess anyway. If he’s a good person and you’re not into him, it’s only fair you let him go.

Tell him you’ve enjoyed your time together, but you need your own space again or that you don’t feel responsible enough to hold down a serious relationship right now. My favourite line is, “The relationship has run its course.” Now, this could be a bit harsh, depending on how you deliver it and how he takes it, but it’s the real truth of the matter. It happens.

Tell him some positive things about him and that you would like to leave with no animosity but lots of happy memories. Ask him if he has any questions, but remember to answer them without blame if you can. Stay firm, though. Don’t let him talk you out of your decision.

I’m assuming he doesn’t live with you. If he does, this does add a layer of complication, so you could suggest you will stay with a friend for the next few days while he finds somewhere to go or vice versa.

I wish you luck. There may be tears! But once it’s said and done, you will be relieved you had the courage to do it.

Good luck! Jay-Jay

A problem shared is a problem halved! Send your sticky situations to Jay-Jay – email wdaynz@aremedia.co.nz.