KEEP THE PEACE this Easter

If all of that family togetherness is causing tension, this expert advice may help

‘It can be helpful to have escape tactics and boundaries’

Along weekend with sweet treats and catch-ups with loved ones – what could be better? For some people, however, Easter gatherings with the extended family often mean tension and frustration.

Registered psychologist Rachel Tomlinson says many people feel pressure to tolerate behaviours or attitudes from loved ones at key events, such as Easter gatherings, that they wouldn’t otherwise accept. She recommends making a plan before you attend these events.

“In circumstances where relatives are renowned for making inappropriate comments or put-downs, it can be helpful to have some escape tactics and boundaries,” she says. “This could either be limiting time at the event itself or having ready-made and well-practised excuses so that you can rotate through spending a short amount of time with each family member.”

FOOD FACTOR

Whether it’s chocolate, hot cross buns or large family meals, Easter tends to revolve around food. This can be uncomfortable for those who are trying to lose weight or who have eating patterns that others might not understand (eg vegans). Because eating is a sensitive topic, Rachel recommends setting strong boundaries around what you feel comfortable discussing.

“It could involve a conversation in advance so you don’t have to field enquiries or questions on the day – something like, ‘At Easter, I am going to be eating/ not eating XYZ for personal reasons. Can I ask that you not talk about it on the day as this is something sensitive for me?’”

ALCOHOL ISSUES

Holidays can come with overindulgence, but if you have a family member who often goes way too far with alcohol and it’s making you uncomfortable, you might be dreading Easter.

“It might be helpful to develop a plan to leave early or ensure that you have the option to exit when you can see things escalating,” suggests Rachel.

Think about the person’s drinking patterns or triggers, she advises. For example, it might be better to visit in the daytime only, before they tend to become inappropriate.

“Being aware and planning accordingly can help ensure you remain in control and feel safe on the day,” she says.