JUDGE JAY-JAY
More FM radio diva Jay-Jay Feeney delivers her verdict on your biggest dilemmas
MIDLIFE CRISIS
Hi Jay-Jay
I think I understand what a midlife crisis is now. I just turned 50 and I am hating it! I cried at my birthday party and I have cried every day since. I feel stressed because my kids are all grown up and off at university or living with their partners, and I feel like they don’t need me any more.
I work part-time and my husband works full-time, so I’ve been alone a lot lately. Turning 50 made me realise I’m a lonely, old woman! I don’t know how to change my mindset, but I’ve been questioning the point of life. Have I achieved everything there is to achieve? What is my purpose now? I hope you can help me, Jay-Jay.
Fiona, Christchurch
Happy birthday, Fiona! Fifty is a huge achievement! You’ve made it this far and have so much to show for it – awesome kids, a loyal husband, and years of wisdom and experience.
You should be proud of all the great things you have done in life so far. And guess what? All going well, you could have another 50 years left! So let’s not be sad about it. Embrace it! You’re in the second part of your life, where your experiences will be different, for sure, but they don’t have to be all doom and gloom.
I’m certain you have a few fantastic close friends you love spending time with. Keep that up on the regular. Is there a hobby you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for? Get into it! Take up golf, read more books, volunteer, travel more... The world really is your oyster and you are able to do what you want now.
Your children will always need you. They will. We all need our parents. Remember when you were their age? They are having fun and learning about adulthood, so they may not be around as much, but that doesn’t mean you can’t see them, do things for them or have regular family get-togethers!
There is so much freedom after 50, and I really hope you can appreciate this and discover what it is you want to do for you, instead of always having to put others first.
Enjoy this time. Enjoy your husband. Enjoy life.
Fifty really is fabulous! (And when I get there next year, I’m going to remind myself of this advice I have given you!)
Lots of love, Jay-Jay A problem shared is a problem halved! Send your sticky issues to Jay-Jay – email wdaynz@aremedia.co.nz.