The big man syndrome
Ihad a conversation with a lady about a board meeting we were planning to have, she mentioned her challenge with a board member who in her view was deliberately making life miserable for her, she told me to kindly intervene by putting a call through to this gentleman. I obliged and indeed called him, hoping to build a rapport with him and possibly start a relationship beyond formalities. I was shocked at his response over the phone and quickly adjusted myself thereafter.
We discussed, my telephone conversation with this fellow who is supposed to be a ‘believer’ and ‘mature Christian.’ I shared my experience with her and she laughed at me and told me that she believes he is acting up because ‘...he is a big man’, I shrugged off that phrase and I immediately told her ‘he is a proud man.’
It is very important to call vices by their names and not try to make virtues out of those vices. I strongly believe this ‘ Big Man Syndrome’ is killing our society in Nigeria and those who carry the disease are also Born Again Christians shamefully. We have become bloated by our ‘statuses’ in the society, the economic class we belong to has affected our psyche about who we are, our wealth has pumped false sense of security into us and we have become detached from certain realities of life.
Paul addressed this ‘Big Man Syndrome’ in his epistle to the Roman Believers and I’ll like to Inspire you today by taking a closer look at the scriptures, ‘for I say through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to THINK OF HIMSELF more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, according as God has dealt to Everyman the measure of faith’ (Rom. 12 v 3).
Having considered the above scriptures deeply, I make bold to conclude that those we call ‘Big Men’ may just be called ‘Proud Men’ by God and Apostle Paul if he were to be around today. That is not to say there aren’t people we should honour but people should not demand for such honour by oppressing others with their privileged positions in life, because those positions are temporary not permanent.
5 Ways to identify the syndrome in men
They talk down on people: Most men with this ‘Big Man Syndrome’ are known by the way they talk to people around them. They talk down on people and disrespect them simply because of their status in life and positions as well. It’s a Vice not a Virtue and we should despise the same.
They do not greet people ‘first’ but demand to be greeted: I have often wondered why some people still never greet you first until you greet them, and when you do greet them, they will sneer their replies towards you despitefully. This is called the ‘Big Man Syndrome’ and it is very UNCHRISTIAN in my opinion
They keep you waiting deliberately even when they are free: I am sure many of my readers have experienced this from the Big Men they have had cause to see at one point or the other. They just keep people waiting and it makes them feel ‘Big’ indeed.
They throw names around and want to intimidate others: Name dropping is a major feature of Big Men around us today and they do so to intimidate their listeners so that they can ‘bow and tremble’ before them. That was what Haman did towards Mordecai, but the Lord humbled him and elevated Mordecai. I pray you purge this disease.
They like status toys and acquire them in numbers: This is the African in
Big Men. I have seen many people acquire status symbols and toys because of perception of ‘Bigness’ In Nigeria; they have the latest phones, cars, bling, etc, just to show that they have arrived and are Big Men. It is very sad and shameful that Believers are doing the same as unbelievers, we don’t know the difference anymore and we cultivate such odd vices and mannerisms in our churches.
In conclusion, I feel compelled to say that this Big Man Syndrome our Disease is seen more in African Countries than Western countries, like a disease clinging to the black man and we have all gotten bugged, believers and unbelievers alike. It’s a deadly Syndrome and we should purge ourselves from the same.
Drop me a note of acknowledgment and encouragement.
Be Inspired!
Rev Yomi Kasali is Senior Pastor, Foundation of Truth Assembly (FOTA), Surulere, Lagos.