‘ Real men don’t beat their wives’

Marriage takes a lot of hard work and goes through a lot of challenges. This week, we share the experience of a couple married for over ten years…

WEEKLY TRUST: How long have you been married? We have been married for 21years. How did you meet your spouse and what attracted you to him/ her?

Mr. Emmanuel and Pastor ( Mrs.) Chika Emmanuel Ebinne:

I met my wife in 1986 during a NIFES ( Nigerian fellowship of evangelical students) meeting at the University of Cross River state in Uyo.

Did you have problems with in- laws regarding giving the go ahead signal to the union?

Initially, yes, especially with my mother in- law but eventually we got the blessings of both and they crowned it by attending our wedding. We are not from the same state. I am from Cross Rivers while she is from Imo state. Today even after twenty one years of marriage we are happily married. How many kids do you have? We have two biological children that are 18 and 19 years of age. Both of them are university undergraduates. We also have an adopted son; we play parental roles to many people, including those that we counsel. As parents we see every child as our child whom we have a responsibility to help bring out the possibility in them.

What are the secrets to a good, long lasting relationship?

The secret to a good, long lasting relationship are love, submission, understanding and forgiveness. Once two people live together, conflict must come and it takes forgiveness ( even in advance) to overcome it. Fidelity and trust are also important ingredients in a winning home. They are like the spirit and soul of marriage

Do you apply principles from your work in your day to day activities, especially in your marriage?

Yes. Such principles as patience and forbearance, these principles are very important for every marriage to be built on a solid foundation.

After years of marriage, what is that unique thing about your spouse that amuses you till date?

My wife is a good planner who knows virtually all the birth dates and wedding anniversary dates of all our friends and family. It’s also a delight to confirm their time. My wife knows how to appreciate God for the gift of children; she is also kind and helpful to the downtrodden, the orphans and motherless babies. She is a missionary and she goes all out to mobilize help for the missionaries in the jungle. She is always there for people who need a listening ear. I most times thank God that for the kind of kind hearted woman he gave me as a wife. She tries and takes delight in making sure she touches and makes a difference in someone’s life no matter how little, even if it is just a smile.

How much of a role does emotional intelligence play in your relationship?

Our emotional intelligence plays out to agree with what is acceptable and pleasing to God. That is what the will of God is.

Marriages come with a lot of challenges, what is it that has kept you going despite all the challenges?

Challenges are bound to happen and we have had a good dose of it but God helps us out of them all. The love and faith we have in each other have been of tremendous help in overcoming challenges