When third parties are not necessary
There are bound to be misunderstandings between friends, partners, colleagues, siblings and even couples but when is it appropriate to bring in a third party to settle scores in a relationship? A lady explains, “My husband and I do have quarrels and each time we do, the first thing he does is to call my parents and tell them unpleasant things about me. He doesn’t just stop there, he still goes on to call his parents and siblings about the little misunderstanding we had. We have been married for over seven years and yet no matter how small the issue is, he always involves a third party. We are humans and are prone to have misunderstanding with people but how long can I keep tolerating being painted bad before a third party?”
Aisha Muhammed, 39-year-old civil servant, says “I will advise that the man should grow up. A woman who finds herself in such situations and does not speak up can die in silence. Let him know that you do not appreciate a third party being involoved all the time in your issues.”
Binta Musa, 42-year-old teacher, says “Many fail to realize the damage they do to their relationship when they involve a third party in every little misunderstanding they have. Until they realize the mistake and address it, nothing good will come out of a marriage that has third parties intruding
all the time. No matter how much prayers anyone devotes to a marriage, if a third party is allowed into every affair of the family that marriage may head for the rocks. People give undue influence over the marriage to third parties whenever they are invited into any marriage squabble.” Joan Francis, 38-year-old architect, believes that the man isn’t man enough to handle his family issues. “Why take your problems to other people and disturb their peace and at the end create more for yourself? Why not handle it himself until it gets out of hand and not to report at the slightest bicker. If he must report, then it should be to a specific person whom she respects and listens to, and not everyone on his contact list.” “Everyone has one or two people they can’t afford to disobey. What many fail to realize is that no marriage is perfect and almost everyone has one or two issues with their marriages, but they don’t go calling up their entire clan to report themselves and painting one another black. To tell the truth, most of the people he reports to would see him a weak man.”
Couples are bound to have issues once in a while and the ability to settle it without a third party makes the marriage stronger. In most cases, third parties are not necessary as they do more harm than good. If there must be a third party, then it must be someone who either partners can’t afford to let down.