Kaduna airport, now that Abuja’s crowd has left
And I really thought last week was so unique! And then Grass Osborne happened! The bulldog, which the famous ‘Wailing Wailers’ dismissed as having no bite, finally got a few ferocious teeth. And did bite a bit. And then some heads started to roll, even though not too far off. But hey! Better late than never! So, yes, another quite eventful week came upon us. Like last week, then, we shall continue ‘twittering’ in short snippets:
GRASS, GRACE, TO GRASS: Finally, the Grass-Cutter is gone, even if it’s just to around the corner. On the day of the suspension, colleagues were discussing who, between Grass and Osborne, is more hated by the average, poor Nigerian (as moderated by us, the peripheral elite). By unanimous decision, Grass is held in the lowest ‘un-esteem’ of profound despicability, despite the fact that Osborne far ‘out-billioned’ Grass. The logic is that it is intrinsically more wicked to steal from poor victims of Boko Haram than from the CBN or NSA. Including Osborne’s Crocodile Tears! And a profound advice to General Long Fellow: even if GrassCutter (that you seem to love so much) is absolved of cutting grass, don’t return him. He has after all challenged, ehm, no one in particular by saying, “Who is the Presidency?” (We suspect he means “t” instead of “cy”.) But if you must, give him Chief Lawn Mower of Sambisa, where the Grass is still hiding our Chibok Girls. The Ummah Movement of the National Islamic Centre, Zaria, was in Sokoto for its Annual National Convention with the theme “Agriculture as Panacea for Nigeria’s Economic Recession.” Professor Shehu G. Ado, VC Al-Qalam University Katsina and renowned agricultural scholar, delivered the thematic paper. The Sultan, as host, lamented that our (Northern Muslims’) apparent laziness (or lack of leadership and guidance, it must be added) has robbed us of our one area of comparative advantage - agriculture. The Convention recommended that the Federal Government’s agricultural policy aimed at promoting food security and produce import substitution should be pursued with more vigour; that the ban on importation of frozen chicken and beef should be sustained to create additional investment opportunities for the private sector in the livestock industry; and that, given the large market for dairy products in Nigeria, milk collection and processing is an area yearning for more private sector investment.
HOUSE Mambayya House once again celebrated our political “Saint” Mallam Aminu Kano. Saint indeed, compared to Panama Padding riff-raff who parade today as our political elite - villains most. Lead Presenter Dr. Haruna Yerima reminded all why it would be very difficult to rid the National Assembly of corruption. Once a Member of the Padding House himself, the academic spoke on ‘Politics after Malam Aminu Kano: The Role of the Legislature in Nigeria’s Democratic Development’ wherein he reiterated that only very few members of the National Assembly rejected the Obasanjo’s N50m Third Term bribe a long time ago. Annual Lecture Chairman and ‘retired’ politician and academic Prof. Jibril Aminu said Mallam is very blessed to be remembered annually. This, he attributed to Mallam’s integrity and incorruptibility. Mallam’s widow couldn’t make it as she’s indisposed, but sent a message asking current leaders to address current hardships.
Also during the week, BUK’s Department of Islamic Studies and Shari’ah convened a National Conference on “Islamic Scholarship and Scholars in Modern Nigeria: 1900 To Date.” The Conference recommended that scholars and researchers should undertake more studies on the lives and intellectual works of Nigerian Muslim scholars; that there is need to translate and review some of the literary works of the Nigerian scholars of Islamic Studies; that the writings of Nigerian scholars of Islamic Studies should be incorporated into our school syllabi and be used as textbooks for teaching Islamic Studies; that Information and Communication Technologies (ICT) should be effectively utilised by Muslim scholars in order to develop the learning, teaching and dissemination of Islamic education; and that teaching of the Arabic language in formal schools should be encouraged.
STUDENTS Over in Minna, Niger State, the Muslim Students’ Society of Nigeria convened its annual Human Capital Development Training for its Zone ‘A’ (or Northern) Leadership. The set book for this year, in view of the myriad conflicts the nation is witnessing, is “The Ethics of Disagreement in Islam” by Dr. Taha Jabir al’Alwani. As a side attraction, the 70 participants also studied other skills, including Writing and Speaking. But it is not the meeting that’s the only newsworthy event - the road to Minna is just SubhanalLahi! Suddenly, I felt the Kano-Kaduna potholes were a blessing (though, thankfully, some patchwork has just started). Minna! A city of Two Heads! Where two heads are better than none! That road! Kai!
Talking of the terrible nature of Minna Road reminds me of the fact that, finally, the Nigerian Elite are back at their usual haunts of Abuja Airport, the repair of which has been completed (congrats, Minister Hadi Sirika). Now the elite, First Cousins of Osborne, don’t need to travel by road or rail between Kaduna and Abuja. So we, the not-so-elite, are held by palpable fear lest the significant security in place for six weeks is relaxed and we are handed over to the stepped-aside criminals; armed robbers and kidnappers. One bad omen is the lament this week by the police on the road that they have NOT been paid their expected allowances. And we all know what the police can do even WITH their allowances paid, what if allowances NOT paid? The Hausa song “Ranar Da Ba Ka Da Shi…Mai Ba Ka Ba Shi Da Shi…Rannan Da Kai Da Barawo…” should ginger memories! Wayyo!
And this one I really love! “Sirrin Tsire Yaji!” (The Secret of Suya is in the Condiment!) So was said the other day on a special radio programme to usher in the National Suya Festival now holding in Kano at the Trade Fair Ground on Zoo Road until Sunday. The famous Yahuza Suya is there. So is Murtala Suya (our own guy at BUK New Site). There is also Sallau Kibiya, Official ECOMOG Battalion Butcher in Freetown and Monrovia. A prominent attraction is the Condiment Suppliers’ (‘Yan Yaji) Exhibition. Remember Sirrin Tsire above? Yajin Daddawa, Yajin Tafarnuwa, Yajin Kuli-Kuli and Plain Old Yaji. ‘Yan Balangu, ‘Yan Kilishi, ‘Yan Dambun Nama also there. There’s also a Special Suya Training Programme for women. On the side, there is Hawan Kaho (bull running), Goat Skinning, Traditional Boxing (Dambe) and other competitions. Entry Fee N200 (but you pay for your own Suya). And this is free publicity to promote an industry that should be promoted. We, members of the Gandun Nassarawa Primary School (GANOPA), Kano, were quite worried when last week, despite the well-publicised invitation, our very prominent member Distinguished Senator Dino Melaye did not turn up for our Quarterly Meeting, and neither did his expected Annual Dues arrive. Little did we know that at that very moment some wicked souls were attacking our poor old alma brother in his country home in Kogi State. Some powerful Kogites are being suspected - but let us make things clear! This is a beloved Kano boy with Kano friends and classmates. Long before any Geography there was History, at our school. It has been resolved, therefore, that in sympathy with Dino, there will be a One Minute Noise (as Silence is not his characteristic) at the next Quarterly Meeting! His invitation stands!