Intending couples find hope in Kano matchmaker
Having experienced marital break-up twice, I lost confidence in approaching any woman again for marriage until I met Malam Rabi’u Ado Indabawa who hooked me up with my present wife through his matchmaking platform three years ago,” Malam Yarima Muhammad told Daily Trust.
Muhammad currently has two kids from his three-year-old marriage. He disclosed that he lost hope of re-marrying after his second wife broke up with him until he stumbled on a billboard beckoning on suitable and willing patrons in need of spouses.
He said with great reluctance, given the sad memories of his past experiences with his estranged wives, he dialled the mobile number which later changed his status to that of a happily married man.
Muhammad is just one among hundreds of clients that met their spouses through the spousal interventionist platform introduced by Malam Rabiu Ado Indabawa about five years ago.
Daily Trust gathered that at least 50 to 70 clients - comprising males and females, within Kano metropolis alone usually turn to the firm every day in search for partners.
The platform ‘Mai Dalilin Aure’ is gradually gaining popularity among residents of the ancient city with parents voluntarily bringing their children who are old enough for marriage to Malam Indabawa to hook them up with life partners.
Malam Indabawa, in his mid 50s, said he was inspired into matchmaking by the rate of divorce in Kano, even as the number of young adults due for marriage keeps growing on daily bases.
Daily Trust however gathered that every week, a minimum of five weddings are conducted within the state capital courtesy of this informal arrangement.
“I ventured into this service to see that whoever wants to get married gets a partner. I didn’t get into it to make money but to provide suitable partners for those who want to get married. I don’t want to see anyone who truly wants to get married wandering about because he does not have a partner,” Indabawa told our correspondent.
Until recently, matchmaking for intending couples had been a secret affair known only to a few people, especially older women, who move around their neighbourhoods with photographs of young ladies who are rarely seen in public domain in search of possible suitors for them.
These highly respected older women broker for these secluded young ladies in contracting marital ties with interested partners whose characters are found worthy.
This, our correspondent gathered, had worked for several decades around the city before the recent technologically driven platform introduced by Indabawa.
How the system works
Malam Indabawa said, “I have signboards placed in various locations around the city and on those signboards, there is a mobile phone number which any interested client can call.
“If the client calls, because I have other businesses, we would agree on a time to meet in either my office or any specific place to discuss. As the discussion is going on, I will be examining the person to ensure he or she is responsible enough.
“If I am satisfied with him/her then he/she would tell me the kind of person he/she wants in terms of age, education or upbringing and after I must have listened to them to ascertain the sincerity of purpose or I’m sure that they genuinely want to marry, I will give them the mobile number of the woman that matches that preference and then hecan call her.
“From your conversation with her, you should be able to know whether she matches your preference, and if she does, you will proceed to meet her and her parents and then go ahead with the marriage.
“My role stops where the intending couples start communicating with each other. I don’t follow the man to meet the bride’s parents. Parents sometimes bring their children, both divorced and virgins, who are ripe for marriage for me to get suitable partners for them and this has worked and is still working.
“Many have married through this platform; I can’t tell you a specific number but for the five years that I have been on this, every week at least three couples who met through our servicesget wedded,” he explained.
Asked if he collects fees for the service, Indabawa said “I don’t take anything from anybody, but after everything, if you think what I have done deserves appreciation then you can come with whatever you have in form of gift. I have gotten numerous gifts through this but I have never demanded anything from any of my clients.
Indabawa, who is a truck driver, said he had settled many marital crises in various parts of the state.
He recalled several occasions where he was hired to pick the woman’s properties after the divorce, but on arrival he intervened and the matter was settled and the couple are still living in peace, love and harmony.
He identifies lack of adequate orientation about what it takes to be a married couple as responsible for the frequent cases of broken homes, urging parents to always create time to educate their children about marital life in order to reduce the rate of divorce among the married couples in the state.
“My plan in the future is to open a school for marriage counselling. To educate young men and women about what it takes to be a married man or woman.
“Usually, under the present platform, my orientation focuses more on the woman, but I think it’s not sufficient since it is something that involves two people, so both of them need to be adequately counselled before they tie the knot.
Clients abusing the system for indecent interest
Indabawa however identified attempts by some clients to abuse the system as his major challenge.
He said, “Every day, I receive calls from 50 to 70 patrons, so with that you know that many must certainly come for ulterior motives.”
He said sometimes people call him to ask for partners to satisfy their lustful desires from both sides. Recalling one of such incidences, he said, “Someone once called me and asked if I supply women to hotels, I pretended and answered yes, and he asked how much? I said N1m. He insisted that I should reduce the money and along the line, from my responses, he noticed that I was not going to meet his demand then he dialed off.
“Also, I met about three women whose target was myself. When they came for counselling, one of them could not hold herself as she charged me, saying it is me she wants.So, this itself is a challenge in the business.
“Some would get marriedand after two or three days they will divorce, that also has been a problem to me,” he added.
Speaking to Daily Trust on Sunday, a Kano-based Islamic cleric, Ustaz Ali Dan Abba, said there is nothing wrong with the matchmaking practice as long as the intending couples will abide by religious provisions during their courtship.
Dan Abba, who is also the chief Imam of Millat Ibrahim Juma’at mosque in Sauna area of Kano, said“Islamically, if someone wants to get married, they go to the parents of the lady and ask for her hand in marriage or send someone to do so on their behalf.
“The only condition however is that the match maker should make sure that none of the suitors come with the intention of deception; they have to have genuine intention of getting married. He should also make sure that one of the couples did not use him to achieve a hidden motive and then divorce afterwards. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, when we were growing, the trend was that parents recommend who their wards should marry, so it’s nothing different,” Ustaz Dan Abba added.
He said both Islamically and traditionally, the practice has always been in existence.