Reminiscences with Hajiya Aisha Aliko Mohammed
Hajiya Aisha Aliko Mohammed is a septuagenarian who runs many humanitarian organisations in Kaduna. She is the wife of Alhaji Aliko Mohammed, a former chairman of the Bank of the North, National Insurance Corporation of Nigeria (NICON) and the She has bee
YDaily Times. ou have involved humanitarian activities for almost five decades; can you share some roles you played towards that cause?
I started humanitarian activities when I was in primary school as a brownie. I joined the Red Cross when I was in secondary school, and when I got married I joined the Jam’iyar Matan Arewa (JMA) as an ordinary member before I became a committee member, then secretary and later, treasurer, and finally, I became the been in president for about seven years. I am also a member of the Lioness Club as the chartered president. I am also a founding member of the Human Development Foundation of Nigeria, which was actually initiated by Sarah Jibrin in the 80s. I also became a founding member and later, like the JMA, I went from being a member, secretary, treasurer and finally president for about 10 years. I also joined the Kungiyar Taimakon Mijin Yata, an organisation that caters for destitute patients. I am a member of the Nigerian Aid Group of Jama’atu Nasril Islam (JNI) as a chairperson. I have a school known as Kaduna International School. I was also the chairperson of the United Nations International Children Education Fund (UNICEF) during the immunisation programme of 1987 to 1990. That was the first immunisation programme introduced, and over 35 nongovernmental organisations from different groups were involved.
You were tutored by Sardauna, what is your opinion about the education system today in Nigeria?
Sardauna was our mentor. He built boarding schools for girls and made sure that we all went to school. You did not have to be the daughter of a prominent person to be in school. If you had the ability to write exam and pass you would go to school. And he made sure that we were given whatever we required. I was given money from Maiduguri, where I come from. I took the exam from Maiduguri, passed and went to Ilorin from there. We were given escorts to take us to school; not now that you have to spent money to take your children there. During holidays the school would hand us over back to the escorts who would take us back to our parents. And our parents didn’t have to pay exorbitant school fees. You would pay according to your ability. These days some children cannot take their WAEC because their parents cannot afford it.
I cannot remember our colleagues paying money for WAEC; I think it was introduced later. The minimum you would pay as school fees was 3 pounds, and the maximum was probably about 30 pounds, and that was even for the daughters of ministers or rich people. We paid according to our fathers’ salaries. Today, a messenger earning N9,000 is expected to pay the same as somebody earning more than that. For example, if a minister decides to send his child to a secondary school where his messenger’s child is, it means they would pay the same school fees. Today, students are not taught any vocation or skill, but we had craft schools during our time such that a child would not start looking for what to do after school.
You are the founder of the Kaduna International School, which was known as Aisha Muhammad International School, what informed your decision to open a school?
It was my ambition to go to the university after my secondary school and become a nurse, but it was not possible because I had to take care of my children and my marriage. Five of my children had finished from Capital School, one of the best schools at that time that was founded by the late Sardauna. After sometime, Capital School was abolished, and public schools were not very good. I was determined to give my last three children quality education, so I decided to do something. Most of my husband’s partners who were expatiates were taking their children home because of lack of school. That was why I started the school. Also, I needed something that would keep me at home and give me time for myself and my children. I also wanted to inculcate the culture of father and mother living together and training their children. At the end of the day, I told my husband about the project and asked him to teach me a little about business. He was happy and supported me.
All the Europeans were happy with my decision and they supported me. Some Nigerians also supported me. I contacted all my expatriate friends; we all came together and that was how Aisha Mohammed International School started. Actually, the above name was given to the school by the expatriates to honour me for giving them the opportunity to live with their children while they worked in the country.
How many students did you start the school with?
Initially, the students were not many because it was like the first international school. Most of those who brought their children to the school were expatriates, so we decided to start with the British curriculum. At that time, the British curriculum was not known in Nigeria; we had our own curriculum.
Most of the expatriates had nursery schools in their garages and that’s how nursery school started. We invited them, sat down with all the owners of the garage nursery schools and we agreed to come together and put all these garages together. I also got donations from all the garages that came together, and my husband supported me by giving me the capital. I was very lucky that some of the expatriates were teachers,
so they were engaged to work in the school. Initially, it was 60 per cent expatriates and 40 per cent Nigerians, but it later became 60 per cent Nigerians and 40 per cent expatriates because their work had finished and they had to go back to their countries. Now, it is about 90 per cent Nigerians and less than10 per cent expatriates.
We had a lot of support from the American Embassy, British Embassy, other embassies and organisations.
From the look of things you have a successful marriage. How would you compare marriage in the past and what obtains these days? How was your marriage able to work?
I have been married for 52 years. Marriages are not different; it’s just the way people take them. Men are the same, women are also the same. Marriage requires understanding and patience because it has to do with two people coming from different homes and backgrounds. If you insist on getting what you want 100 per cent, I don’t think you are being realistic. This is because what my mother taught me and what my family is doing is not the same with what my husband’s family is doing. If you agree to stay together, you must understand the ups and downs of marriage. There are times you agree and when you disagree. The day you get married, you will be so carried away with all the praises and pampering that you will not believe there will ever be argument between you. But as time goes on you will not only experience argument but sometimes beating. You could even be asked to go back to your father’s house. Although it’s not everybody that beats his wife, some will insult you and compare you with your mother. The most important thing is for the women to try to be realistic and understand that two people are not the same. It is not everything you want that you get. Understand your husband because he chose you and you chose him. Also, you and your husband chose to be father and mother to your children; as such, you must be very patient and bring them up properly.
I believe in understanding. Where your husband is weak, try to help him out; and where he is strong, still help him because whatever he achieves is for your benefit and the family. Wives must support their husbands, pray for them and be contented with what you have. However, do not support him if he is doing something wrong. Also, men should try to understand that women left their families and everything about their lives to marry them, so be patient with them and accept them for who they are.
If the man brings food, thank God for the day, and if he does not, pray to God for a better tomorrow. But wives of today will insult the man and push him into armed robbery, simply because they saw rice and chicken Most of my husband’s partners who were expatiates were taking their children home because of lack of school. That was why I started the school. Also, I needed something that would keep me at home and give me time for myself and my children in their friend’s house and they want to have the same in their own homes. The husbands should also appreciate the efforts of their wives. Marriage is a question of patience, understanding and communication, accepting the person for what he is and helping each other, not the other way around.
You are a mother of seven daughters, how were you able to bring them up to become role models in the present day society where drug abuse and rape of minors are the order of the day?
Actually, when I got married I had secondary school education. At that time my husband was a financial controller and he was always in and out. As the chairman of the National Insurance Commission (NAICOM), Daily Times and the Stock Exchange, he had a lot of responsibilities, so I decided to give my children all the support they needed from me as a mother. I made sure I monitored what they were doing. As girls they needed to know about their future. We must make them understand that they would be mothers in the future. So it is necessary for a mother to sit down and look after her children.
A mother must teach her children how to behave. How children are brought up determines what they will become in future. Our young girls of nowadays do not know how to cook. If you give them corn to pound they cannot. They cannot wash their clothes, wash the dishes, sweep the house and wash the toilets. We must teach our children the necessary things of life.
For that reason I made up my mind that I would rather not go the university and leave my seven daughters without bringing them up properly. I am only one mother but they will be seven mothers. And it is when you teach them properly that they can be responsible parents; so I sacrificed. I didn’t work and did not further my education until after 16 years of marriage.
At that time, my husband had retired and became a businessman. Many people were coming from different countries to be his business partners. As you know, outside our country and culture, wives work with their husbands. It is a family thing, when you want to do any business you consult your wife, children and family members. Their wives sit beside them to know what they are doing and support and advise them. But in our culture it is not like that. Most of our women do not even know what their husbands are doing, they don’t know how much money they have; all they know is that he is the master of the house. And to properly support and advise your husband in business, you need to be educated, so I decided to go to the polytechnic to read Business Management. I did that to enable me contribute to my husband’s business. Even if I was not part of it, I could give my contribution if my opinion was sought. By then most of my daughters were in secondary schools except my last daughter who was born when I was in the polytechnic.
I followed my children when they went to England to study. I didn’t just send the girls to England and relaxed at home. I wanted to make sure they followed the culture and my teachings as a mother. I also followed them during holidays because anything could happen. However, that does not mean you will not give them a little freedom.
As a mother you have to train your children and teach them the core values they need to succeed in life. Let them know that they have to work for what they will become in future because parents can die and leave their children, husbands can die and leave their wives and children. So if a child is not trained well, he or she cannot be independent. There are many children who do not listen to their mothers, but if you are with them, they will turn out to be better people when they grow up.
Would you say that bad upbringing is responsible for drug abuse among young girls these days?
Yes, I think people go into drug addiction because of bad upbringing. As a mother, try to do your best. The fathers too have roles to play. I was invited to a function and somebody stood up and said that in their area, about 13 young girls got pregnant outside marriage and they accused their mothers of not looking after them.
When we grew up, my father would go to work and come back at 2pm. He would sit outside our house with his friends and none of us was allowed to go out. If they sent us on errands and we didn’t come back on time he would ask where we went to. If our mothers were going to see their relatives we would go with them and come back with them. And if you dressed indecently they would ask you to go back.
You need to monitor what your children are doing. If I come here and find my children looking at something that will destroy their lives I will just break the television. Why should you bring something that will destroy my children? But mothers will go and buy all these films and allow the children to watch. And where is the father to look at what his children are doing? Why is it that money is more important than the children? Fathers are not shouldering their responsibilities as they are supposed to. They are not there to check their children; that is the problem. They don’t know what their daughters are doing and they don’t know who comes to the house. In most cases, the mother too is not there, so the children watch all sorts of things and bring all sorts of things to the house. As a father, if you see your daughter wearing something you know you didn’t buy, and you know her mother hasn’t got it, why don’t you check and ask questions? Unfortunately, some fathers sometimes give their children money to do whatever they want to do and buy whatever they want to buy. In our time, at the age of 13, we were the ones cooking the food in the house. Our parents made sure that we could cook and look after ourselves when we got married. But nowadays, parents are not doing that.