Why Mr Buhari deserves his medical leave

Iwas in the hospital yesterday to see a doctor for a referral to a sleep clinic. I think I may have sleep apnea. Also, my gastric ulcer is acting up again. The only responsibilities I have currently are writing two books and taking care of one partner. I don’t even have a side chic to worry about or children to feed. I am young. Yet I need the hospital. Imagine if I were in my 70s and had 180 million people to take care of. I would probably be doing it out of a hospital ward. This is why I understand why President Buhari has to take yet another medical leave in London. Apart from the obvious reasons, allow me to explain why I think he needs and deserves the rest and London treatment.

First, let us clear the issue of London. Some say, why London? I say why not London? The British invaded our country and imposed themselves, their religion and their language on us in a form of violence, otherwise known as colonialism. They plundered the land, and then, they left. The least we can do is outsource our health care to them. Let them treat our president. I know we are paying for it, but they are providing the service and that is what matters. There is nothing wrong with outsourcing when you alone cannot handle a service. We are providing the world with crude oil, mineral resources, human resources (and some militancy), the least they can offer us in return is health care.

Think of Mr Buhari’s tenure so far. There is a lot that could have made him exhausted and in need of frequent medical treatment. Let us start with the courts. It takes a lot of guts and energy to ignore the courts when they ask you to release a person they claim you have been holding illegally. I do not have children but I have friends who have really troublesome toddlers. The type that wont stop crying until they get what they want. I see how those friends are often exhausted in the morning from having to listen to the constant wailing. Buhari has to listen to wailing from Amnesty International, Amnesty Nigeria, Human Rights Watch, the Islamic Movement of Nigeria, (and the supporters and friends of the journalists that keep getting arrested these days). That is a lot of noise. Personally, I don’t know why people think that just because a court has said Zakzaky should be released, Mr Buhari should respect the court order. It is just a court and the judge is just a human being. And a mere human being should make our president do anything. It is a miracle he has not broken down. He is a strong man and I think also the fact that he doesn’t drink or smoke helps. So if he says he wants to go to London and get treatment, I support it and so should every patriotic Nigerian.

I think China must have been listening to Mr Buhari’s speech when he said he belonged to Nobody because they recently walked into Nigeria with a business card that read People’s Republic of China, a.k.a Nobody. Then they asked him to send Taiwan away. And just like a repentant man that has been caught with another woman, he asked the mistress, Taiwan, to leave his matrimonial home. China was happy with it and I think we would get our 20 billion dollar loan. Any man who has gone through a cheating scandal and survived knows just how draining and stressful it all can be even if your wife forgives you. I have not gone through it, but I know people who have. This is enough to wear the president down.

Sometimes you have a child that is a thief or a criminal. But then, it is your child and you can’t throw them away. Sometimes you must ignore them and let them come to their senses. You must let them learn from their mistakes and find their way back to your loving arms. This period of waiting is stressful. You will endure the gossip of neighbours and the taunts of rivals who never fail to remind you that your child is, or was a thief. Recently, we saw documents that showed that the Secretary to the Government of the Federation put his hands in the North-East pie by using his companies to secure contracts meant for the North East. Imagine the energy it takes for the president to ignore that. Or to ignore the many disloyal Nigerians who tell him about a certain minister of his who is more corrupt than anyone being chased by the EFCC at the moment. Of course these are baseless rumours, but imagine hearing that everyday. You too will end up in hospital with high blood pressure.

So I really think that our president has endured enough. And if we want him to continue his service in 2019 we must allow him to rest as often as he can in London. If Great Britain had any shame, in fact, they would be offering to pay for his treatment as part payment for the evil of colonialism. That is the least they can do. We wish the President quick recovery and hope that the First Lady does not miss him too much. But thank God (and white people) for things like Skye and FaceTime. At least they can see each other.