Redefining the anti-graft war from foreign lenses

Comparing Naija’s bogey anticorruption fight is like comparing sleep with death - one is a temporary state of rest and the other is permanent transition. So, France’s Nicolas Sarkozy is going on trial for his botched 2012 campaign fund ‘scandal’ and his electoral nemesis, Francois Villon is losing out to the wages of nepotism. In Romania, the young liberal government’s legitimacy is threatened by a crowd of protesters massing across its major cities and towns expressing their anger with a government proposal to put a floor to the anti-corruption war. So, let’s deal with that first, shall we?

Worried about the number of officials serving jail terms in various prisons for corruption convictions, the Romanian government decided to tackle corruption with a unique idea. Under a proposal by the government, rashly packaged for parliamentary rubberstamp, any official caught stealing below $50,000 should receive prison amnesty. If you remember that Romania has oil, this actually looks good because oil corrodes the common sense of leaders.

When Romanians heard that proposal, they didn’t think their rulers were in touch with the reality of the global anti-graft war, and so, they took to Victory Square, first in trickles, then in droves and later in thousands. There was no burning of tyres, no molestations - just a sea of heads and loads of flags and placards. As I write, not only has the government backed down on the decree, its justice minister has resigned because resignation is what people with conscience do when they fail the litmus test. Tell it not in Naija. In spite of that casualty, the mob has raised the stakes; they want the Social Democratic Party, PSD government of Prime Minister Sorin Grindeanu to resign. Said one protester to a television journalist: “They are not in touch with today’s reality across Europe.”

With their tenacity, the righteous mob is likely to get what it wants, which is good governance and removal of impunity to loot by those elected into office or selected to serve. As a Naija, I don’t go shouting ‘Way to go! Simply because I’d be making enquiries about which part the majority of the thieves originated. Then I’d find out if they were of the same religious persuasion with me. That is what would determine whether the protest is worth its weight in morality. So stop whining about the people of Oghara, they love their son James Ibori, Ogidigbodigbo warts and all. They showed solidarity with him as he returned from holidays in England the same way people rejoiced with Bode George; the same way Buhari can do no wrong!

Now, French politicians are not like their European counterparts in matters of the heart. While most Europeans hide under the morality of serial monogamy, the French are more down to earth, reserving a place for concubines. Kindly stop harassing Innocent 2Face Idibia! Hardly do you hear of a French politician without a sidekick, an amant. Francois Mitterand waited until he was quarter to dead before revealing his adult lovechild. You probably still remember the story of suavelooking Nicholas Sarkozy.

In the French political pantheon, Francois Villon is a saint. Perhaps to avoid being tempted, he hired his wife as personal assistant and two of his children as staff while serving as a MEP shuttling between Brussels and Strasbourg. That means he goes to work with Madame and two extra guards. No French voyeur can pass through such a wall of affinity. Thus far, there is no evidence that any has succeeded in breaking through the wall of protection.

In spite of that, Villon is in hot soup. He is going on trial for paying members of his family from public purse and there are rumours he twice paid his wife retirement benefits running into thousands - a norm among governors even of the ‘progressive’ hue. This is the kind of lesson that would be lost on ex-FCT Minister Mallam Mungu, whose son was not a PA but a harvester for his father’s interests. Whatever you do as a Naija, don’t take this French morality scale to the legislature or you would fail. Our legislative arm is beyond audit. Don’t whisper these stories in the good ear of Sai Baba whose own grasscutter is flourishing or you might have the ethno-religious army unleashed on you.

Naija is not alone. Check the principle of continuity in Zimbabwe and you unearth the unmatched leadership potentials of Madam Grace. The French conscience won’t work in Equitorial Guinea where Nguema’s son Teodorin is richer than his father; or in Angola where Isabel dos Santos’ investments dwarfs her nation’s reserves. Yoweri Museveni sees nothing wrong in promoting and positioning his son to become commander-in-chief. Heckle Jacob Zuma all you want, he remains president.

It is sad that foreign correspondents are reporting these issues to an African audience as if the accused had broken the cardinal rule of decency in office. In Naija, the crowd in Bucharest would not be northerners, and those calling for Villon’s crucifixion would not be legislators. As the French would’ve put it, one nation’s definition of corruption is another nation’s definition of taking chances. Dazzol!