That Unpresidential Heckling in Parliament

For those who are striving to rewrite the Manifesto of Ruining Parties, its preamble should read something like - the history of all democratic institutions is tested by the culture of heckling. Perhaps with a caveat - until democracy attempted to find a home in Africa. Africa has not decided what it wants to be - a full-fledged or a trado-democracy. When it pleases our people, they hail their democracy as robust. At other times, they remind us that we cannot have a system of government that is alien to our core values and tradition.

Most students of democracy argue that accepting to serve the people means being answerable to the people and their representatives. People express their viewpoints differently.

So, when Sai Baba sauntered into the harried chambers of the Irrational Assembly to evaluate his scorecard and project into the last year of his first term, he knew he was walking into hostile territory. His relationship with that assemblage and its leadership is known to be fractious and unfriendly. It remains a pretty charged atmosphere.

It was reported last week that the striking workers of the assembly tried to disconnect the supply of water and electricity to the complex to protest the nonpayment of their salaries. So when legislators appeared to listen to the president, they had fishes to fry more than their opportunistic constitutional projects and budget padding. An enemy had shown up in their lair, one who’s Gestapo locked down its chambers and constantly harassed its chosen leaders.

So, when Sai Baba tried to discuss his administration’s invisible achievements these ones won’t cheer. The heckles continued until he blackmailed them into submission. By making reference to a watching world, Sai Baba bought himself relief but equally shot himself in the foot.

Here was a man who said nothing when David Cameron describes his country as being fantastically corrupt. Here was a man who on another trip told a global audience that his country’s youths are lazy. Lately this same man confessed that a substantial percentage of his citizens are mad. Obviously, these labels are not a winning manager’s best sales pitch to the international community.

After learning all these about us, pray, what else about us would change their perception of us. The international community is like Santa Claus, they know we’ve been bad because our father, the president told them so at different times.

To those shouting morality, where were they in 2015 when President Jones’ convoy was attacked in Katsina and stoned in Bauchi? I know where they were, on the fringes telling the then ruining party that it served him right. So, to be heckled at a budget presentation is no news to students and followers of democracy.

Last week, lip readers swore that UK’s opposition leader, Jeremy Corbyn labeled Aunty Tessy a ‘stupid woman’. Corbyn flatly denies it, which is why he is likely to enter Sai Baba’s no fly list. We can’t let a man denigrating the leader of Britain, a colony of Naija where we could park Eagle One for as long as we desire without incurring charges go scot free with such innuendo.

There are a few exceptions to the heckling culture. There wouldn’t be too many hecklers at the Duma seeing that Russia practices a kind of democracy suited to its core values - communistic democracy. Nor at the National People’s Congress in China, seeing that that country doesn’t buy the democracy mantra. Nor would anyone not liking North Korea’s Kim Jong-Un show or say it, except they were prepared to meet their maker. Saudi Arabia and its Arab neighbours don’t take kindly to talks against the monarchy. In Thailand, any open or veiled criticism of the monarchy is akin to sacrilege and heavily penalized.

Every American president has been heckled. When told that Richard Nixon made some uncomplimentary remarks about him, former Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau wrote in his memoirs that - better people have said worse things about me.

The only reason certain people watch the British and Canadian parliaments in session is to watch the fireworks at Question Period where peers are heckled about what they did and did not do. Question Period is the only time that elected adults are permitted to exhibit youthful exuberance or if you like, juvenile delinquency and still be forgiven.

American presidents are heckled at home and abroad. George Bush took a shoe on Iraq. As close as October 2016 in Myers, Florida, Bill Clinton had his speech interrupted by a heckler who called him a rapist. Barack Obama and his wife, Michele have been subject of verbal barrack. The only exception to this rule is Donald J Trump who has arrogated to himself the supreme right to heckle and not to be heckled. But trust Americans, they are challenging that.

One must agree that heckling a commander-in-chief should carry the same sentence in Naija as it does in Thailand and Saudi Arabia. But we abolished the House of Chiefs; and out flew our lese majeste laws. Perhaps a good punishment for future heckling of the president in parliament would be to put barrackers on government’s no fly list. Our ruiners just love to fly!