Five books for parenting millenials at this time

Millennials are the new generation teenagers and young adults while those of us born in the sixties, seventies and earlier are described as boomers or Gen-Z. Millennials continue to occupy new space and community conversations because they are certainly different from when we were growing up and have something termed as more freedoms. There is certainly no freedom without responsibility. They are also aided by new tools like the internet and modernisation, a lot of which we did not have in our time. Some parents are having difficulty in dealing with the character of some of their children and are befuddled by a lot of the goings on. But millennial therapists say our children have too much going on, have information overload and worry endlessly about their economics especially as jobs are no longer that easy to get and they are not doing well in relationships as well and do not understand why they should stay in a marriage that they are not enjoying for the sake of children. So, today amidst the confusion and the tension between some parents and their millennial children and the frustration the children are also experiencing, I am recommending five books that can assist parents deal with all of this. It is even more challenging in this pandemic when a lot of our children are not in school and we are having to live under the same roof for longer than we usually should. Both sides are confused. Honestly it’s not as if there is a full proof answer to the confusion but let us say, these kids are in a different world than we were and with prayers, understanding and patience, a lot can be managed. Time now to give you these recommendations which I hope can help.

1.

Most millennials are very self-entitled and narcissistic. They feel on top of the world as if the world owes them. And like most young people around the world, they believe that they can do anything and its fine. In fact, the best of them believe rule-breaking is a good thing and they are also in that age where rebellion is also on the front burner. But psychologists will tell you that when children attain puberty, there is a certain hormone that gives them a dizzying, I am now grown attitude and this is more extreme in some than others. And also those in their twenties and thirties often experience the same thing. I would therefore like to stay with narcissism which is extreme self-love with a bit of selfishness going on. Any book on narcissism will help you understand that condition in millennial children.

2.

The defining decade: Why your 20’s matter by Meg Joy. This is a quintessential book about how to make the most of your 20’s. Psychologist Meg Jay explains why twentys omethings have been caught in a swirl of hype and misinformation much of which has trivialized the most defining decade of adulthood. Most millennials who have read the book say it has helped them figure out value and make decisions that they feel good about. Parents of millennials should source this book, read it and gift it to their children.

3.

I-Gen by Psychologist Jean Twenge Ph.D does not disdain those born after 1995 but pities them. Smartphone addiction has saddled a new generation with professional psychological problems, sleep deprivation, depression, loneliness and fear. This is a generation she concludes eschews spirituality. In her book Why today’s super connected kids are turning up less rebellious, more tolerant, less happy and completely unprepared for adulthood… And what that means for the rest of us, Twenge turns the searchlight on how internet has the millennials in its firm grip. And my favourite quote from the book is when she addresses young people directly about their smart phones. “Do not sleep with it or give it nude pictures of yourself. It is not your lover. Do not continuously turn your attention to it when you are talking to with someone in person. It’s not your best friend.”

5.

In addressing the anxieties of Millenials, Jonathan Safran Foer explains in his book, “Extremely loud and Incredibly close,” how the younger generation are having to deal with big issues of death and fear and mourning more and more. He says it’s a big issue to cope with especially when you are younger and as you grow older, the world is expecting you to learn how to deal with it and some millennials are not coping. Indeed, it’s a big issue. The younger generation are having to deal with complex issues in the world, Boko Haram, terrorism, climate change and so on. It’s not that easy to process and they are mostly not prepared for it. They are more anxious now than we were about a lot of things and they are less resilient.

4.

Daring greatly. How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead, by Brene Brown. For two decades, Brown has been studying vulnerability, shame, empathy and courage. Brown offers a new vison for what it means to dare greatly n this book. Understanding is key between millennials and their parents. Also remember that many persons are saying millennial children can be impossible because they were given everything they wanted, have no discipline and were over pampered by their parents, so they really do not know how to be independent. A great topic for further discussion.