ETIQUETTE Condolence etiquette

It can be difficult to express condolences when you find you’re unable to find the perfect words. Unfortunately, we all experience hardship and loss from time to time. The most important thing is that you are compassionate towards others while they are going through terrible times.

When there is a death and there is no way to comfort the grieving, your best effort should be to just show your concern. With the utmost consideration, sincerity, kindness, and courtesy, offer your own words.

Reach Out to Comfort

· It is appropriate to get in touch with the individual or people affected as soon as you obtain the news from a reliable source.

· Your conversation should be guided by empathy, politeness, and common sense. A phone call shows thoughtfulness, but be understanding if it is ignored or goes to voicemail. It’s possible that your friend is currently receiving too many calls to manage them all.

· Only visit the grieving if you are certain they will appreciate it. Some people prefer to deal with their sadness or difficulties alone.

· In the case of a funeral or wake, pay a brief visit to the family that has lost a loved one, keeping in mind the number of other individuals who wish to talk with them.

Offering Condolences in Writing

· You may want to think about sending comforting messages by email or text if you are more comfortable writing than speaking.

· However, only employ these techniques if you are a close friend or family member of the deceased and are confident she or he will find them acceptable.

· Given the quick pace of technology today, it’s possible that the person who is most directly impacted posted about the event on social media because he feels most at ease there. Many people enjoy communicating online because it gives them a sense of immediate community.

· If you choose to correspond via email, text, or social media, kindly send a handwritten card or letter as a follow-up. In times of difficulty and grief, receiving a card or letter that you took the time to write and send will mean a lot.

What to Write

Whether the recipient is a close friend, family member, co-worker, or intimate acquaintance, how you write will depend on that relationship.

Here are some fundamental principles to bear in mind.

What to Say:

· An expression of grief. The phrase “sorry” is used. I am sorry about your father’s passing.

· It’s kind to share a sincere, intimate moment of love for the deceased.

· When possible, provide practical assistance.

Avoid saying;

· Unsolicited guidance.

· Words that are intended to “cheer up” or inspire. · Clichéd advice or examples from your own life. Some things are simply better left unsaid, but the general rule is to express your condolences in the most intimate and genuine way possible.