Why underage children should not be sexualized

hile the media and advertising agencies among others have been blamed for sexualized images of women and children, a worrying trend is the way parents particularly mothers are contributing to the sexualisation of children.

Sexualization generally means to make something sexual in character or quality or to become aware of sexuality. The American Psychological Association says sexualization occurs when “individuals are regarded as sex objects and evaluated in terms of their physical characteristics and sexiness.”

Several parents in the country today sexualize their little and teenage children in the way they heavily make them up, dress them, make them pose or take images or make them appear physically in a way that is known with adult sexuality.

Many women are guilty of using make up and jewelries on their little daughters and wearing them revealing, tight or hugging clothes and clothing styles for their little sons that portray that physical appearance and beauty are intrinsic to self-esteem and social worth, and also that sexual attractiveness is a part of childhood experience.

Fathers are also not helping matter as they go to shop sexualized materials and clothes for their underage children like miniskirts, baby tee shirts inscribed with sexualized messages, dolls , padded tops among others.

Some of these parents take it as far as uploading sexualized images of their children on the social media.

It is common these days to see pictures or images of girls as young as toddlers wearing heavy makeup, bikini and tight fitted clothing, high heels, and even fake hair or eyelashes and posing seductively uploaded by their parents on BBM and Whatsapp display picture , Facebook, Instagram, and other social media .

They seem not to know that this could be a viewing pleasure for pedophiles male and female alike who may trace these children especially if they are close to the family and do them harm.

In addition to the fact that some bad or not too honourable people and relatives including older children living with the family or around them could take advantage of their children when they always see them dressed or made up that way..

Some mothers take pictures of little children ,upload them and put captions like ‘See my daughter’s hot legs ‘, ‘see how my little angel is cat walking’. Same with little boys whom they dressed up and give lewd captions.

Sexualisation of children these day is such that some women dress their primary school pupils with lip stick, painted nails and feet, and weave-on to school, and some schools allow it. Some of the little child seem to mimick the makeup and dressing style of movie characters or those from reality shows.

Little brides or flower girls are usually made to look good on wedding days but these days it is overdone in some cases.

In a particular incidence, a little girl who could barely walk entered inside a hospital reception hall with her mother and caught the attention of virtually every one waiting there because of the way she was dressed. She wore mini skirt, crop top and had a lot of mascara on her cheeks.

As she walked by beside her mother some persons could not help wondering aloud if the little child really needed all that make up? If the mother knew that making her daughter such a ‘little pretty attention catching thing’ is detrimental to her development into adulthood and even her health?

Some women make conscious efforts to give their children sex appeal with the believe that they will only be viewed as attractive and beautiful since they are just children.

However sexualizing children or exposing them to sexualizing content does have consequences. Suffice to say children should be allowed to be children until they get to adulthood.

While some parents do not sexualize their children they are also guilty of exposing their children to sexualised content in soap operas and advertisement. This is in addition to sexualized messages they face every day on television, music, billboards, print media, internet, cellphones and communication devices, cable, movies, among others .

A sexualized child may grow up focusing on making herself appealing than on her studies and sexualised images of young girls suggest female bodies are fair game for objectification, whatever the individual’s age and even if adulthood is still years away.

Speaking on the issue, a respondent , Malama Habiba said sexualisation of girls is very common in rural areas in the northern states particularly with women who send their daughters to hawk.

“They make the girls up and dress them to look beautiful so that they can be appealing to men to marry them. They forget that they can also expose them to early sex, rape and also early marriage. Because the more a sexualized a girl child is the more prone she is to taking an adult role early,” she said.

Mrs Ijeoma Ikechukwu ,a mother and civil servant said she was shocked when saw the picture a woman recently uploaded on instagram. According to her , the woman uploaded the picture of her little daughter wearing shorts and with her backside facing the camera.

She said: “The child is a plump type and the mother in her ignorance could have posted the picture believing that she is showing off the beautiful features her daughter possesses at that young age not knowing the implication on the child. Some men seeing that picture especially those who know her could come to her house and rape the little girl because men are attracted by sight even if the person in question is a child.”

She said sexualisation of children is because of the dwindling morals among people adding that , “if a mother dresses any how she wouldn’t see it wrong dressing her child that way no matter how little he or she is. The fact is that a child should be allowed to be a child because if her childhood is stolen, when she becomes an adult will want to start behaving like a child.

Blessing Adewole, a journalist said some parents are sexualizing their children believing that it is the trendy thing to do now. She said sexualizing children introduces them to things the children are not supposed to know at an early age and they can become very wild as they grow up.

Magdalene Audu, business woman said she sees nothing wrong in dressing and making up a child to look sexy. She said giving a child sex appeal is all geared towards making the child attractive saying “Wearing a little girl halter neck, show back or breast tube is ok because she is young and I don’t think any normal man will be aroused by them.”

Mrs Veronica Okpanachi, a retired civil servant said there is nothing wrong with dressing up young children to look good because it was done from generations to generation before now.

“We use eye pencil on our female babies and little daughters and wear them bangles and necklaces in those days. Our mothers use local make up and ornaments on their little daughters too. It is all aimed at making your child look good, if not for the rising wickedness we are witnessing in the world today , there should ordinarily be no consequence of making your little children attractive.” She explained.

Ruth Choji , a journalist and a pastor said the sexualisation of children by parents is really giving her challenges in the Sunday school she overseas. She said some mothers dress their children to church in sexualized ways.

She narrated the story of a four year old girl in her neighbourhood who always comes to her room saying “Aunty put me make-up” because her mother always applies make up on her and the girl doesn’t feel complete going out without make up. The little girl even cries when make-up is not applied on her.

She said: “Those adults are trying to live their lives through their little children. What their parents didn’t allow them to do is what they are doing to their children. They completely forget that these are children and not adults,” she said.

Juliana a student on the other hand said there is nothing wrong with sexualizing little children because they are very young and do not know wrong or right.

Speaking on the Islamic perspective of sexualizing underage children, Malama Nafeesah Bintu Taajudeen said putting make-up on an underage may not be bad if it is not done excessively.

Malama Nafeesah, who is an Islamic studies teacher at Precious Sprouts Muslim School, Ikotun Lagos, told The Homefront on phone that parents should dress up their children neatly but this should be done moderately.

She said the Prophet Muhammad said in an hadeeth: “Allaah is neat and He loves neatness.”

She cautioned parents against making their underage children attractive sexually because of the way they dress them.

Fred Kaeser Ed a psychologist said, “We are creating a generation of super-sexualized children. A significant number of children are actually demonstrating sexual interest and/or sexual behavior at earlier ages than ever before in our society. Kids are being exposed to sexual matters that were previously only in the purview of adults and the greater the exposure the greater the consequences can be. When parents fail to counter and buffer the plethora of sexual stimuli that confront children, they are left to their own devices to manage what they experience.”

According to the Australian Psychological Society research has shown that the exploitation of children, particularly girls, as sexual objects has a detrimental effect on adolescent development, increasing the risk of depression, eating disorders and low self-esteem. The unrealistic depiction of children in a sexualized manner is not only harmful to girls and women, but has wider consequences in the community.