Our elders have gone mad again
Istole this from my friend Jaafar Jaafar without permission of course. According to him, Kano-born Ado Abdulkadir was sent to the University of Mysore, India for a Bachelor of Computer Applications, BCA degree. It is not clear if computer students pass with flying colours, but this one found colour singing Sa Re Ga Ma Pa, apparently a popular Indian song. Which Kano son, raised on the diet of Indian movies would not sing a mondegreen to applause? Under Ibrahim Shekarau, singing, wishing people Merry Christmas or Happy New Year was haram and Abdulkadir had no chance in Shekarau’s heaven of making it as a performer in Fagge or Gandun Albasa.
If you meet Dr. Bennet Omalu, please shake his hands for me and tell him I hope he doesn’t burn his Naija passport for Nnamdi Kanu’s Biafraud. Omalu’s discovery of the condition known as chronic traumatic encephalopathy led to the Hollywood blockbuster - Concussion. By the way, Omalu was born in present Anambra and his discovery carries Farooq Kperogi’s authentic NAFDAC number. Dr. Omalu plies his trade in the United States, which Kperogi insists should not be called God’s Own Country; not that Kperogi has an alliance with Ayatollah’s Khomeini’s dubbing of America as the Great Satan, Kperogi, a devout Muslim lives in the USA by checking the origin of words, how we use and blatantly misuse phrases and expressions and exposes academic frauds.
Every other day, a planeload of unwanteds is discharged on Naija soil from the streets of London.Yet, if anyone could replace either Mohammed Ali or Mike Tyson, they’d be they’ll be voting for Anthony Ayodele Joshua, Britain’s boxing heavyweight titleholder. He knocks down anyone standing in his ring with scant alignment of his moneymaker. As MTN would have put it, everywhere you go; there are young enterprising Naija doing exploits and impacting lives - positively.
So, please ignore ISIS’s Jihadi Jane Khadijah Grace Dare or Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab. Ignore those guys death row for drug-related convictions in Malaysia. As the old Jafaru Isa would’ve put it, breaking the law is neither in our character nor in our blood. But if you see him, please ask him if greed or avarice is in his own blood and watch his reaction - but maintain your distance remembering once a soldier, always a soldier.
Most of us just cannot resist the lure of easy money, as our parody of the Naija preamble to the Book of Revelations now suggests. Yes, there is still lopsidedness in the implementation of the federal character principle where it matters; but not when it comes to spreading the communicable virus of sleaze. Check out the list of President Jones’ mobilization team starting with Santa Dasuki. The born-to-rule prince, scion of the caliphate realized how dim his chances of inheriting the of Dan Fodio turban, but if he realized he could spread the cheer from the north pole across geopolitical zones and that’s exactly what he did. Accuse him of what you may; greed is not one of his vices if he had one.
Tony Anenih has been fixing anything worth founding since the era of the Wizard of Ota when he fixed N300 million voted for the Ministry of Works to fix roads. The cash vanished and the roads became potholes, a requirement for elevation as chairman PDP’s, BOT and later that of the ports authority, a similar position that sent Bode George to jail. As a retired police officer, he has shown that the leopard may be domesticated like a goat; it would never change its spots.
Between them, they have shown us what happens when federal character meets jaundiced revenue mobilization and fiscal allocation. According to media reports, they found two now infamous media owners to take care of the fourth estate of the condominium of sleaze. Then they went for the landlords. Olu Fall-lie got his share of the loot but declared less than God demanded of his earnings - a paltry five per cent.
Ever wondered why ex-governors never want to retire? Well, you found the reason in Rashidi Ladoja who got his own share, a substantial chunk of which is now paid to liars as legal fees in his mad bid to return to Agodi not on his track record. Give it to Attahiru Bafarawa’s boka, the Yorubas may be insulting their elders for dragging their reputation in the mud, Bafarawa’s talakawa friends lined the roads to hail his released on bail. Skin tone merchants must organize a welcome party for Jim Nwobodo’s re-emergence with a broom he hopes would sweep off his sins to the ocean of forgetfulness. Let’s hope his former priest at the Anglican communion got a slice of the tithe, if not, its too late it now belongs to the Catholic church.
I recommend a good look at Fela’s classic - ITT for an understanding of why stealing is corruption and for anyone still looking for the tarred roads, bridges, schools, hospitals, jobs and electricity of the TAN era - its in the pouch of our elders who have gone mad - again.