Who will save the man from Misau?

There is no way of knowing if Senator Isah Hamman Misau, who according to the police, is also known as DSP Mohammed Isa Hamman would have reported to work on Tuesday. In fact, there is no way of knowing if he successfully made it home after his appearance on Channels Television over the weekend except that the police have now declared him officially wanted. But that is not our problem, nor should it be. Both the police and the man agree that he wore the police uniform as an officer for ten long years.

As for names and aliases, Africans change names for reasons ranging from enlightenment, change of religion or pure maturity. Aremu Okikiolakan Obasanjo recently renounced his slave name - Matthew. Chukwuma Soludo was once popularly known as Charles, Obafemi Awolowo renounced Jeremiah and Ngugi wa Thiong’o was once called James Ngugi. In his brief appearance on television, Misau insisted he was not the Mohammed Isa Hamman the police are looking for. Yorubas erroneously say there are many Bellos in Ilorin - we all know it’s not true!

Misau chairs the senate committee on the navy but got his fifteen seconds initiation into fame from accusing the chief of Naija police of bribery, nepotism and sundry offences. The police denied his claims and challenged him to bring proof - affirmati Non Neganti Incumbit Probatio. While waiting for response they declared him a deserter. This is where as we say in Naija, tori get k-leg. Misau’s allegations against the police chief and its high command are not new to anyone who visits watering holes and mammy markets. They have been flying around for as long as man and booze have hobnobbed but nobody repeats them on microphones or on social media when they are sober and not especially now that the military is the police of social media.

As far as I could remember, the late Ken Saro-Wiwa made such allegations in his chequered campaign against multinational corporations operating in Ogoniland. Misau confessed on live television to being a recipient of extra-salary allowances. Misau is alive, has served in these areas and so his first-hand evidence is first hand experience until he recants.

Misau alleges that VIPs (take Fela’s interpretation of the acronym - Vagabonds in Power) equally ‘pay’ for the protection services rendered to them by the police. He was not talking about the ceremonial hampers or the tsaraban Sallah or Sallah gifts but money allegedly paid to senior police command. Again, these are not weighty allegations if you visit Mammy Market and the police allege that Misau patronises hemp joints. Now hemp sale or consumption is still a crime under the law, are the police saying they know about illegal joints operating unchallenged?

Mammy Market fake news allege that VIPs kit the police that guards them. Patrons swear on their last bottle of the green stuff that recruits are mandated to bring their own pair of shorts, white T-shirt and white sneakers, brooms, hoes and cutlasses and buckets to training - is that standard training procedure? Channels Television has done an expose on conditions at the police college, Ikeja, which puts Oga John Momoh on the radar of the new Decree 4.

This spat between the police and its former employee started as a storm in a teacup but could as well end up as Hurricane Harvey. Open secrets should not be exposed so glaringly, as those who live in glass houses should not be throwing stones. May Allah make senator Misau’s glass house a bulletproof vault - amin. The senator claims the IG reached him to lobby his colleagues to prevent a committee appearance and for that he was allotted a pro-bono ticket to Morocco, Jimoh denies both saying Misau has pending disciplinary matter that nullifies his claimed retirement. He also claims that the retirement paper Misau parades is potentially fake.

Misau alleges his troubles began when he failed to supply Abuja gold - land to his superiors after the first batch was granted land by ex-minister Modibbo. The list is growing and Misau is not the whistleblower he portrays, but then who says only saints would be used to clean Naija’s Augean Stable? Misau’s colleagues are watching him roast alone and he should ask rebel Abdulmumin Jibrin.

Curious in this whole saga is the allegation of desertion a serious offence in the armed or evil forces. As members of these forces, you have been trained at public expense to defend the territorial integrity of the nation. If, after training, you decide to abscond, you are not just an officer AWOL; you are a risk to national security and a danger to society, especially a crime-ridden one like ours. Moshood Jimoh swears by the eagle on his shoulders that Misau deserted and had been on police wanted list though he confirmed awareness that the man contested and lost an election in 2011 before winning his current mandate without the police doing anything about it. So, at what time was Misau declared a deserter?

Answers to these questions would help the public understand the processes and procedures of crime tracking by the police and the character of those elected to make laws for us. We have not heard the last of this evolving tragedy but history has not recorded too many cops who won their battle against their former employers, I hope Misau has Alozie Ogugbuaja’s phone number.