Between boy caddie and girl caddie
To the uninitiated, caddies are youngsters who carry the burden of golfers. They vary as we have various golf courses. In some courses like the Ikoyi Club and the IBB Golf Club in Abuja, almost half of the caddies are girls. Some playing members even prefer them to the boy caddies. Please don’t ask me the reason) behind this for I haven’t got a clue.
In some clubs like Benin, Lamingo, Abeokuta, Aba, Enugu, few girls work as caddies. And in about all the courses in the north, save for Otukpo where 30 percent of the caddies are girls, you can only see boy caddies. But one thing is clear here. Usually, female caddies tend to read the green better. Reason could be they are, normally more patient than their male counterparts. The girls tend to have a solution to your awry putts. I once overhead a girl caddy complaining that her ‘oga’ messed up a tourney just because he couldn’t putt one hole.
An inquisitive caddy asked why her master had yips all over his putts and the girl caddy responded: “May be he was tired”. There was wisdom in that assertion. Truth is you will putt very well if you have stamina and inner core strength. You won’t putt very well if you are drunk, fat, sluggish and depressed.
Anyway, this is where the great things about a girl caddy ends. You can now give every other things to the boy caddy. The boy caddy, at all times, is nerved up and wild eyed. He prefers his ‘oga’ takes risk by hitting it long and wild. He will never want his ‘oga’ to instructively sink low. Always, he wants to look around for jubilation and not solace. And when his oga’s ball arrives where it is not sent, he feels as if he is hit by a bus. He will stare endlessly in utter amazement.
On the other hand, the girl caddy is always wearing sad eyes and usually muster sympathy. Normally, she will arrive the fairway with tortured soul which she wears in her tight jeans. Most times, her head drooped in utter defeat. And when it’s time to cool off on course for some five minutes, you will see her moving from the crowd and perching around a tee box like a killer dog. Sometimes, she crosses her legs so she can have an audience. All the same, she will still offer worldly eyes of a woman beaten by life.
Get to the game, the girl caddy will prefer that her ‘oga’ tees it off with a long iron, say a threeiron. She wants it safe, no matter how short. She wants every shot to be made with the advantage of meticulous planning. Even though, the Phenomenon, Tiger Woods gamble most times so he could reach a part 5 in two, a girl caddy detests gambling like sin. She wants you to hit every shot neat and straight. She will never advise her ‘oga’ to fade a ball. Her thinking is if you can see the green, why not hit it straight and get there. She will never advise that you flag a ball. Anywhere on the green, no matter how far the ball is from the hole will do. She wants a safe par rather than chasing a birdie that would end in a double-bogey.
The boy caddy, on the other hand wants his ‘oga’ to always adopt the first rule of warfare… that is you must know your enemy. His oga’s playing partner is an enemy the minute both players arrive the first tee. It’s already an eyeball to eyeball duel. The boy caddy will tinker with his master and come out with a sadistic game-plan. “Don’t allow him take an honor”. It’s as simple as that.
The girl caddy will not want any of this risk taking. At all times, she will tell her ‘oga’ to play the course and not his partner. “Just save a par at every hole”, she will advise. “You can steal a birdie and close the game at one-under”. Well, usually, it works like this. But just one bad hole could set you back for some six shots. So, how do you cover the deficit if you have not carded some three birdies?
It’s in the hollow bunker you will see another huge difference in a girl caddy and the boy caddy. The girl caddy will usually want her ‘oga’ to chip back into the fairway before approaching the green from a safer angle. The boy caddy is not bothered about how shallow the bunker is. You will see him trotting to the Green, and instantly, he’s adjusting the flag so it doesn’t obstruct the ball from sinking as his ‘oga’ hits it from the deep bunker. It the ‘oga’ dares take a safer chip out before approaching the green, the boy caddy will wince in agony and clearly thumps at his heart … that is where golf is! And truly, if you have any heart, all you need in a grave bunker is to spread your stance, open the face of your sand wedge and dig it from under while splashing sand all over the Green.
This way, you will never be a golf professional who is weak where it hurts… that is the WALLET! This is why pros go for male caddies. Give a pro a girl caddy and he will look at you with contempt before voicing out his disgust: “Na kitty you think say I wan go play?”
All said and done, there will be a time when the two sides, the girl caddy and the boy caddy will meet to unload their heaviest ammo. This has to do with the burden of carrying the golf bags around the 18 holes of a golf course.
Now you know better. When next you hit the course, know clearly who your heart prefers… the boy Caddie or the girl Caddie?