How flamboyant Kanuri weddings transform women, families
Kanuri marriages are known for their flamboyance and show of pride. But with changing times, new practices are being introduced that purist fear are tainting centuries-old traditions. follows the transformational stages of the Kanuri woman to capture how
For over 1,000 years millions of Kanuri speaking people in Nigeria’s Lake Chad region, spreading into Borno and Yobe states, and other parts of the old Kanem Bornu empire have built an incredible cultural heritage.
This heritage is often brought to the fore in very colourful fashion especially during marriages. And even the changing times have had little impact on this cultures that are strongly adhered to amongst the Kanuri people.
For instance, intending grooms are expected to pay bride prices in gold coins. This is something the Kanuris have held sacrosanct in the centuries that have passed and even up till this day. However, growing populations and a scarcity of these gold coins has forced a compromise where in certain instances the naira equivalent of the coins is accepted.
At the palace of the custodian of the Kanuri heritage, the Shehu of Borno, the Ya-Morom of Borno, Ajja Mali, discussed these rites and how things have changed over time.
Recalling the olden days, she said at that time only elders could search for suitors for their daughters and initiate the traditional process that led to a successful wedding, and both the bride and groom would have no choice but to obey their parents.
“That was why all the marriages then were full of blessings,” she said, urging young Kanuri women to abide by the traditions so they could be blessed with a happy marital life that produces righteous and blessed progeny.
For the elders, she advised them to continue inculcating into young ones, the norms and values of their forefathers, stressing that parents should not allow their daughters to be married off without full knowledge of how to cook variety of kanuri dishes, and if such happens, the pride is lost. “Because, we Kanuris are well known for making a variety of dishes, all of which are delicious,” she said.
While some of the traditions may have been compromised by time, some are not likely to change in a hurry.
“Islamically, and according to Kanuri tradition, without dowry the marriage is invalid,” the Borno Elders Forum (BEF)’s Secretary, Dr. Bulama Mali Gubio, said.
According to him, even the advent of social media constituting the main platform where girls and boys conduct courtship mostly culminating in marriage, has not in any way adversely affected Kanuri culture and traditions of contracting marriages. The marriage process The Kanuris are infamous for having very lean vocabulary about love but Dr. Gubio says love is the starting point of Kanuri marriages.
“Yes, Love! Surprised?” Dr Gubio said, pronouncing the Kanuri word as ‘rawo’ (the process of falling in love). Other aspect of the courting may include ‘Askil’ (traditional dance between young people where girls clap and boys dance vigorously to show their physical fitness); ‘Nguwa’ (traditional wrestling to display Daily Trust on Sunday physical prowess), ‘Kadi’ (tracing of the footsteps of thieves to retrieve stolen items, and that is an indication of a young man’s capability to defend his family), ‘Surwa’ (collective free labour to help members build houses and cultivate farmlands), ‘Ngumuri’ (Sallah festivities); ‘Sawaram’ (coming together of the bride’s and groom’s friends to engage in ceremonial performances), ‘Zuwu’ (Qur’anic school graduation ceremony) and ‘Kasuwu’ (weekly market days to impress the family of a chosen loved one).
He explained that ‘Ra’aki’, which is the act of being in love, follows next. This is a stage where a delegation is dispatched by the boy’s parents to the girl’s with betrothal gifts comprising clothes, cosmetics and many other items. This process is called ‘Gawo’ meaning, formal presentation of the boy to the girl and leads to ‘Kworo’ where the formal consent of the girl is sought.
At this stage, a delegation of dignitaries comprising men and women visit the girl’s family, who, traditionally, are expected to receive the visitors.
Now, the girl’s parents present some confectionaries to dignitaries as a token of appreciation for the gifts presented to them. This process is called ‘Kworo’ which literally means to ask, and the girl’s acceptance or refusal is signaled through expression of smiles, happiness, sadness or denial.
Next is ‘Sarte’. At this stage the wedding date is fixed. The date is agreed upon after deliberations by the two parties. This implies that the chosen suitor is without rival in the marriage arrangement, the refund of gifts previously received from other suitors and confirmation of medical history of the two families, which Dr. Gubio referred to as a modern trend. Afterwards, the amount of ‘Sadawu’ (dowry) is agreed upon to complete the process.
He said expected rites in Kanuri traditional marriages are very simple and in line with Islamic injunctions. They include expression of mutual love by the boy and the girl, respect for the ‘waliyyi’ (the giver), who could be her father or guardian, observance of ‘Sadawu’ which is the dowry, ‘Sigga’ (the act of asking and acceptance between the family of the bride and groom and their witnesses).
In the past, he said, the minimum amount payable as dowry in Kanuri marriage is a quarter of a ‘Dinar’ (a pure gold coin). So if a ‘Dinar’ costs N10, 000, the dowry will be about N2,500, which could be said to be cheap. But Daily Trust on Sunday observes that this practice sharply contrast with what obtains now when dowry for most marriages has become exorbitant, and as much as N200,000 is paid as dowry.
The betrothal gifts presented to the bride-to-be’s family by the groom-to-be’s family include so many gift items for the bride’s mother, aunt(s), uncle(s), sister(s), grandfather(s) and mother(s).
After the wedding, when the bride finally leaves for the groom’s house, which is her life-long matrimonial home, things like ‘Kaulu’ which is the washing of hands and feet with palm oil and milk, washing of her hair, and her conveyance to the groom’s house in a car, will all be paid for by the groom’s friends.
“All these aim at showing the value and love for the bride and to exploit her blessings,” he said. “Traditionally, the success of her marriage is believed to be largely dependent on the quantum of blessings realised from these activities.”
The ‘Wuskru’ which is also called ‘Walimah’, takes place a day after the wedding. On this day, dishes are prepared and