Re- I Hope I Don’t Commit A Taboo

SINCE you are both in your 20s, the trend appears to be going the opposite way of outgrowing your closeness.

You say you don’t want to cross the ultimate line, but you continue to slow dance to the edge of it. If one day your brother’s resolve breaks, you are likely to come tumbling after. You profess you two want normal lives, but if you violate this taboo, you may never get there. If you do have an affair, or something pretty close, and you vow to forever keep this secret, you each will spend decades hoping your sibling stays silent.

But if one or the other feels this is something a future romantic partner should know, don’t be surprised if upon hearing your confession, your new love quickly backs away.

I know I more or less gave a pass recently to a pair of middle-aged incestuous gay twins, but they had long ago made a physical and emotional commitment to each other and were asking me about whether they should let their family know. I think even those two men would advise you two to stop the rubbing and get yourselves disentangled emotionally.

Your therapist should have had the training not to be so shocked by your revelation that she ended up barking orders. Go back to the counseling office, say your first therapist was not a good fit, and you would like to talk to someone else about a pressing emotional issue.

A good therapist should be able to hear you out, understand your situation and help guide you out of it. For a window into how strange things like this can get if they go too far, read Jeffrey Eugenides’ wonderful novel, Middlesex.