How Is Your Apol­ogy Tank?

The Guardian (Nigeria) - - IBRU CENTRE -

THE “tank” where eaten food is stored in the body is the stomach. There are, how­ever, other “tanks” such as the “love tank,” which is not phys­i­cal. The word “love tank” is used by mar­riage coun­selors world­wide. I do not know who first coined and used it. Mar­riage coun­selors use it to re­fer to cou­ples’ abil­ity to not just only know what makes their spouses feel loved, but also how to sup­ply what makes them feel loved into their “love tank.”

We have iden­ti­fied an­other in­vis­i­ble tank, which we be­lieve is in all hu­mans. We call it the “apol­ogy tank.” What is an apol­ogy tank? It is that in­vis­i­ble place in the soul of a hu­man be­ing from where apolo­gies are de­manded, sup­plied, stored and used. If a per­son has not yet gone into mar­riage, it will be very proper for such a per­son to ex­am­ine his or her apol­ogy tank. Just as it is not proper to drive a car with a leak­ing petrol tank, that is how it is not good to go into mar­riage with a leak­ing apol­ogy tank.

Some­body go­ing into mar­riage should, there­fore, try to know his or her apol­ogy de­mand level, apol­ogy sup­ply level, and quan­tity of apol­ogy he or she will need to fuel his or her life and keep it mov­ing steadily and hap­pily. It will not be out of place for peo­ple in courtship to dis­cuss and know about the state of each per­son’s apol­ogy tank, so that nec­es­sary re­pairs can be car­ried out through coun­sel­ing be­fore they get mar­ried.

The art of apol­ogy should be dis­cussed, taught and un­der­stood, if the mar­riage will en­joy good suc­cess. Just as it is dif­fi­cult to find an adult who has not mis­tak­enly beaten his/her tongue or lips, that is how it is also not pos­si­ble to find any mar­riage where apol­ogy will not be re­quired at one time or the other. Ev­ery hu­man that does not know how to apol­o­gise is not yet emo­tion­ally ma­ture to go into mar­riage.

If one is al­ready mar- ried, the cou­ple should also dis­cover the apol­ogy de­mand level, apol­ogy sup­ply level, and quan­tity of apol­ogy he or she will need to fuel his or her life and keep it mov­ing steadily and hap­pily.

Are you the type who eas­ily gets of­fended and de­mand to be apol­o­gised to of­ten? Then, it means that there is a prob­lem with your apol­ogy de­mand level and this puts your apol­ogy tank in an un­healthy sit­u­a­tion. Are you the man or woman who finds it dif­fi­cult or strug­gles to apol­o­gise? This means there is a prob­lem with your apol­ogy sup­ply level and this puts your apol­ogy tank in a se­ri­ous trou­ble. It will take some peo­ple one or more hours, days, weeks and months for their hus­bands or wives to fill them with the quan­tity and qual­ity of apol­ogy they need be­fore they can bounce back to their nor­mal selves.

If you be­long to this cat­e­gory, it means that your apol­ogy quan­tity level has a se­ri­ous prob­lem, which even­tu­ally puts your apol­ogy tank in a bad state. I me­di­ated in the case of a cou­ple, who lived in the same house for 10 years with­out talk­ing to each other, be­cause they re­fused to apol­o­gise to each other.

When you know that God will not hear your prayers, when you de­cide not to for­give, you are likely to know how to ac­cept apol­ogy or of­fer apol­ogy, so that the spir­i­tual at­mos­phere God needs to act in your af­fairs is pro­vided. I pray that God will give us the wis­dom to con­stantly put our apol­ogy tanks in or­der. Love you.

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