Re- Am I Lost?

ANGER and upset are explicit in your letter, and this is no doubt due to your feeling forced into a position you never planned to find yourself in- that of the object of desire of a good friend- and you are now also faced with the possible loss of this close friendship.

However, it also sounds as though you have had strong inklings of your friend’s feelings for you for a long time, and now, it has come to a head and you would prefer not to face this.

There are questions about the wedding and another if you think this is a friendship worth having. Then, a conversation needs to be open between both of you, which must be honest and upfront.

Rules and boundaries would need to be established and you would have to be careful about long night outs and drinking. He would need to understand that part of friendship is that he fully supports your relationships.

The decision would have to be a friendship that has limits or no friendship at all. It would obviously be a lot harder on your friend in these circumstances, but he would need to understand that part of friendship is that he fully supports your relationships and not sug gest you be available to other guys (at the wedding).

The other aspect is that you now have two other people that need to be able to trust this friendship, and they would need to be involved with this agreement at some level. Secrecy and evasion have played a role by all involved and it would take courage and persistence to challenge this. Friendship dictates that you do your best for and stand by your friend. Do you believe that your friend is getting married to someone he does not see as number one is his life? If so, is there a responsibility to bring this up