The Guardian (Nigeria)

Signs Your Marriage Is Heading For Trouble

- By James O. James

THERE is no marriage that does not go through issues but the ability to handle conflicts and disagreeme­nts is one hallmark of a successful marriage.

However, the recent rise in broken homes and marriages suggests that many couple take a lot for granted so much so that before they realise it they are in deep waters and the issues become unresolvab­le. When conflicts aren’t well handled or ignored, little issues became mountains that can’t be surmounted.

Signs Your Marriage May be in Trouble!

• Persistent and unresolved conflicts. If you and your spouse always quarrel and cannot resolve conflicts amicable but rather sweep things under the carpet “in the interest of peace,” I will like to suggest you’re sitting on a keg of gunpowder.

• When one of the partners suddenly becomes secretive. These days many men password their phones so that their wives cannot access it and vice versa. The Bible says in marriage the two are one and that means absolutely no secrets. If one is secretive there is danger down the line. • Unexplaina­ble absence from home. This particular­ly applies to the man although some women also fall into this misdeed. If the man suddenly begins to keep late nights and travels often without any plausible explanatio­n, then there may be trouble. • When there is a sudden withdrawal of care and attention then it is advisable to probe the matter and get to the root cause. Everyman is known to find fulfillmen­t in being able to care for his family and when that suddenly stops, then there’s an issue. The man may be spending his money on someone or something else.

• When your spouse no longer finds pleasure in you. When one of the partners begins to deny the other his/her legitimate rights this calls for concern. I know a woman, who cried out that for six months her husband had not touched her, which made people intervene only to find out the man was having an affair outside. Also when the man stops eating at home or stops doing things he used to find pleasure doing with his wife, there could be a problem.

• When the man openly compliment­s other women in presence of his wife or vice versa. To openly compliment the opposite sex suggests an ungodly attraction that should be corrected. If the man is always compliment­ing the dressing or make up of other women, I believe the woman needs to attend to her own dressing and make up. • When one of the partners always discusses family issues with third parties whether in laws or friends. Very soon they will help to break your home if care is not taken.

• When quarrels are settled by third parties and not by yourselves. The ability to find common grounds and resolve your issue together is what strengthen­s your marriage and keeps predators away. Enquiries: Elshaddai Covenant Church, 7, Social Club Road, Off Charity Road, AbuleEgba. Tel: 0808092929­2 (Calls only); 0818228118­4 (Whatsapp messages only).

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